


I Already Do

by baslaw



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anne Shirley in Denial, Bisexual Female Character, Cluelessness, Depression, Diana Barry Appreciation, Diana and Anne are loml, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Lesbian Diana Barry, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Multi, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Renew Anne with an E, Sad Anne Shirley, Unhappiness, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:56:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 28,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25415029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baslaw/pseuds/baslaw
Summary: Anne is used to not being happy. She doesn't even remember the last time she was. Moving to Green Gables didn't make her happy, living near the woods didn't make her happy. Sure she was intrigued and ready for adventure, but genuinely happy? Nope.That is, until she goes to Avonlea High, and has a best friend, or/and lover. But oh, the drama that comes with it.(Modern Day 'Anne With an E' )(Anne is bisexual)(My first story)I WILL NOT BE UPDATING ANY MORE CHAPTERS, POSSIBLY FOREVER
Relationships: Anne Shirley & Original Characters, Cole Mackenzie & Anne Shirley, Diana Barry & Anne Shirley, Diana Barry & Gilbert Blythe & Anne Shirley, Diana Barry/Anne Shirley, Diana Barry/Ruby Gillis/Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe & Sebastian "Bash" Lacroix, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Winifred Rose, Josie Pye & Anne Shirley, Ruby Gillis & Anne Shirley, Ruby Gillis & Moody Spurgeon MacPherson
Comments: 34
Kudos: 55





	1. Welcome to Avonlea

_**Anne's POV** _

The packing stage went by so quickly, at the end it looked as if we were never there in the first place. I looked at my one suitcase full of belongings, and back at the now empty apartment flat. I knew I wouldn’t miss it. This place never felt as lively and it isn’t much to please the scope of the imagination. And yet I still felt as if it was just another aspect of my life that was being forced away from me. Just like everything else was. 

Matthew says farm life will be good for us. There was lots of room, lots to do, and loads of new areas to explore. “Like a new adventure!” he cried, hoping the statement would make me happy. I forced a smile onto my face, although I wasn’t fooling anyone. Happiness is a distant memory to me. Something that’s always been hard to grasp.

Green Gables was always the Cuthbert’s property, but didn’t think it was wise to live there so they moved away for 10 years. Old age weighing them down. But after adopting Anne and Jerry and money being tight, it seemed it was the only reasonable thing to do was return. Their parents left it for them, and used their dying breath to get all their savings and buy the house for good, so it would always be with the Cuthbert’s. But staying at that house after all that death bound to become too much, and yet they decided to return. 

I snapped out of my head as Jerry slightly nudged me, telling me silently it was time to go. He knew how I was feeling about leaving. He’s always been with me whenever we were placed into a new house, bonding in the orphanage so quickly they were forced to place us in foster homes together. He linked our hands together, offering comfort as I squeezed it tightly after every step we took to the cab waiting for us, and through the entire drive to the airport. Grateful he never told me to loosen my grip despite my hand most likely crushing his feeble bones.

***

“Oh my, Marilla! You certainly didn’t mention how big it was!” I cried, all sorrow leaving my body in an instant. She grinned as a reply after seeing my wide smile, my excitement bouncing around me. I may have been excited, but still, not happy. Never happy.

Jerry and I ran into the house, hands finally breaking apart as we ventured inside the new home, giggles escaping his mouth and a slight smile on mine. We quickly choose rooms, mine being right next to this _scrumptious_ tree I spotted instantly upon our arrival. I quickly took a picture of its beauty, and put it as my phone’s screen saver. Maybe i’ll have actual friends in this town called Avonlea (a name I grew quite fond of as it wasn’t plain. Not in the slightest) and they could be on my screen saver instead. Some might say having a tree as one is quite sad, but nature was the most astoundingly exquisite beings that has ever blessed the very earth, and least in my opinion. 

Having friends would be simply wonderful. Having someone to trade secrets to underneath the stars, have sleepovers with and fight over the bed to end up snuggled beside each other to keep warm. Someone to know you better than you know yourself. I sighed. It's always been a dream of mine to have a bosom friend. And all the daydreams I have about a romance! Oh I've only had one my entire life, but it was all just a trick the other girls at the orphanage played on me to toy with my emotions. A reminder that no one could like _me_ , a homely, ugly orphan. It took years for me to finally consider myself slightly attractive, grateful my absolutely dreadful red hair took a nice, auburn shade after my sixteenth birthday. Maybe when I turn seventeen it'd go into an even darker shade! Another sigh escaped my lips as I imagines myself as Princess Cordelia dancing with the most splendid hair, waiting for her true love to take her away into the night after saving her from-

"Anne! Get out of that head of yours and help Jerry bring the suitcases upstairs!" I heard Marilla exclaim. I ran down the stairs right away, bursting through the door to almost run straight into someone. I tumbled onto them, both of us landing on the ground in a heap. I heard a deep grunt from under me, and it definitely didn't sound like Matthew or Jerry. I scrambled off of the body in sudden embarrassment of knowing I ran into a random stranger, and began apologizing exceedingly. The man stood up, dusted himself off, and raised his chocolate eyes to me and I couldn't help but gasp sharply. He was _gorgeous_. 

"Miss, it's okay it didn't hurt," he replied after I started rambling about how sorry I was to have bumped into him. "I just came by to say hello to the new neighbors. Well, old neighbours. I'm Gilbert. Gilbert Blythe."

"Anne," I said in a rush. "With an "e", that is." 

Gilbert Blythe smiled at that, and tested out the name. 

"Suites you," he stated so quietly I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear. I forced out a small smile, getting anxious to leave this odd conversation with this boy I knew nothing of. He looked my age, probably also attending Avonlea High as there weren't many choices of schools out here in the middle of nowhere. His eyes were so bright and captivating, some may say beautiful. His curly locks styled in a way that made it look attractively messy. I scowled. It wasn't fair this boy got to be so outstandingly stunning whereas the rest of us (mainly me of course) were stuck with thin, bony physiques.

""Can you come back another time maybe? We've just arrived and are at the stage of unpacking." He nodded in understanding, and I swear I thought I saw him look up and down my body before smirking, and then started walking away. I already knew that this Gilbert Blythe and I were probably not going to become fast friends. Marilla screamed my name again as I started heading towards the car where our suitcases were, completely banishing away any thoughts of the perplexing Gilbert Blythe. "


	2. Orphan Who?

_**Jerry's POV** _

Knock knock knock.  
I sighed. Only one person would knock on my door. I called Anne to come in and she barged in, a determined glint in her eyes.

"We have been here for 2 days how much damage could you has been done?" I accused her. Anne, ever so dramatic, put her hand on her chest as if she's been wounded and fell backward as if she's been shot. Her eyes started getting glossy, and I sighed again. Meaning she was going to go into _full_ character.

"How you hurt me, my own brother.. oh how you bruised my heart. I haven't done anything dear Jerry. I just came to convince you of such a sorrow I've been weighing on my shoulders, and all I wished was a shoulder to cry on. How you've wounded me." She sat up abruptly, and grinned at me. "Your English has been getting much better though. Instead of 'could you has' try **could you have**." She giggled at that.

"What do you want Anne?"

"A proposition. To keep our past to ourselves," she replied. I thought I was hearing some things before I realized those were her actual words. {im trying to make Jerry not the best English speaker since he isn't very good in the show so the grammar is going to be a little weird sometimes but it's meant to be like that. Anyways, back to the story!}

"Anne are you feeling okay? Why would we lie to people?"

"Think about how much we got hassled at our last school because we were, and I quote, ugly stupid ass orphans. Wouldn't you rather skip all teasing and be able to enjoy the school year?" 

I didn't have anything to say at that. She was right, after all. We barely had any friends and many people wouldn't talk to us as if becoming an orphan was some kind of disease you could catch. It was tiring, to say the least. But that's basically our entire past. Although, it was very crappy past. 

"Maybe it could be different this time," I found myself saying. Anne let out an annoyed sigh, as if she knew I'd say that.

"Wouldn't you rather wait and find out before telling them and living the exact same way? We call Matthew and Marilla our parents anyways so it won't be weird. We look enough alike. And if we make good, trustworthy friends by all means, let's tell them. All I'm saying is that we should hold off in mentioning the orphanage, our heritage, and our birth parents until we are sure this school isn't like the others."

I could tell she rehearsed it by how effortlessly Anne made the argument, not stuttering once. Which meant she was thinking about this topic, a lot. I admit, Anne had it a whole lot worse than I did, considering she had this whole bubbly and imaginative part of her whereas I was more of someone who blended in. We all have been trying to make her genuinely happy for months, but throughout her life her light began getting dimmer and dimmer. Nothing she does makes life exciting or _amazing_ enough for her to fully enjoy it. It isn't as if she doesn't enjoy anything about life. She just doesn't care much anymore.  
_But maybe if we lied, people would hate us more_ , a voice in the back of my mind said. I didn't want to be selfish, but-

"Let me think on it."

"School's tomorrow Jerry. So think fast." 

And with that, Anne quickly left the room as quickly as she arrived.

***

Marilla told me that I was supposed to go into town and buy some eggs for our lunch tomorrow, and Anne was busy doing whatever Anne did so I was venturing it alone. It was a hot, September evening. I should have worn the shorts when I had the chance. I looked up and saw what I thought was a grocery store, and so I ventured inside and was greeted with an amazing rush of wind from the air conditioning inside the building. Sure enough, it was the store. 

As I was looking around the aisles, I couldn't help but feel as if people were watching me. I looked around, and I could see a family standing a few feet away, sneaking glances at me. It was uncomfortable. Matthew warned me that people here loved their gossip and that I may be watched, but he didn't mention how much! It was as if I was some weird species they had never seen! _Imagine if all these glances were judgmental. Or mocking_ the same voice asked me sounding a whole lot like Anne. I gulped. Would the staring get worse if they knew I don't know who my family is? I groaned internally, and turned to go into the dairy isle to get the eggs and bolt but not before I hears some loud whispers coming from a few feet into the isle. I stood, and despite my better judgement, listening in on the conversation. They looked young enough, same age as Anne and I it'd seem. There were two girls, both with blonde hair. 

"I heard they have no money," I heard one of the blondes say. I froze, knowing straight away who they were talking about. 

"Come on Josie, you can't base them off of rumors. Their probably not true and you know it," the other blonde replied. She was shorter, and had sort of an innocent face with dare I say, beautiful eyes. 

"Still. A red head! Avonlea has never had a red headed girl before. Billie heard from Moody who heard from-"

"Josie Pye! Moody is the most unreliable source in the entire school!"

"Yes, but still! They don't even look alike. Maybe one of them is adopted. I heard the red head was expelled from her last school Rubes. _Expelled!_." The girl I thought was Josie Pye snickered, which sent butterflies into my stomach.

And with that, both girls turned the corner and saw me, as I tried to create the scene that I was inspecting some items and not eavesdropping. I looked up at the girls who were staring at me, and gave them a weak smile. Josie Pye snickered again, and Rubes(???) looked at me in pity, before they both turned and walked away.

I grabbed the eggs, paid for them, and practically ran all the way back to Green Gables and after disposing the eggs into the fridge, barged into Anne's room. 

"Let's not tell **_anyone_**."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anne: Let's not tell them we're orphans.  
> Jerry: Why?  
> Anne: Why not.  
> Jerry: Okay I'm down.


	3. My Bosom Friend

_**Marilla's POV** _

"Oh Marilla do we _have_ to?" Anne cried in a very sorrowful tone. I scoffed. This Anne will become the death of me. Nevertheless, I smiled at the teen.

"Yes, Anne. We must. The Barry's are a very respectable family in Avonlea and Mr.Barry spoke to Matthew and asked for them to meet you."

"Why does Jerry not have to come!"

"Because they wish for you to be... acquainted with their children. Which are girls, so there is no use of Jerry to tag along." The bigger the words you use with Anne, the better she'll take the news. Unique girl she is.

"But I'm a teenager! We don't need to be set up together to become friends I am no longer a child Marilla!" 

Anne groaned when she saw I wasn't wavering and left the room to hopefully find something nice to wear while I cleaned up breakfast. She may not want to admit it, but sometimes she needs a little push in the right direction. Anne can be very stubborn after all. 

As Anne and I approached the house, we spotted the Barry's sitting at the porch eating some scones. We came up to them and Ms.Barry stood, and greeted us. I noticed the way she gave a once over at how Anne was dressed, short top with a leather jacket and some jeans. Her child was wearing these breezy, floral dresses, blue and white. I thought she had two children. I guess the youngest didn't show. Ms.Barry and I exchanged 'good afternoons' while the kids stood there awkwardly, her child smiling fondly at Anne. Anne looked like she wanted to run as fast as she could. I slightly nudged Anne to say something, but she still stayed silent. My goodness that girl will be the death of me. 

The girl said something to Anne, yet all she did was nod her head. I sighed, hoping she was nervous because of the mother who seemed to be judging Anne with every glance she gave her. Ms.Barry asked if they wanted to come in, and I instead told her the children should go out into the garden to get to know each other. Anne shot me daggers, which I pretended not to notice. And with that, Anne and Diana went out back while Ms.Barry and I headed inside and started talking about Avonlea. 

_**Anne's POV** _

I am going to kill Marilla. The girl, Diana she told me her name was, and I were walking through their endless garden. When I first saw her my breath quite literally caught in my throat. She was _beautiful_. Her summer dress floated perfectly in the wind, and the blue suited her so well I was sure the colour was made just for her. I couldn't say anything to her. Her beauty literally left me speechless. How can this girl ever want to be my friend? We looked like polar opposites. Diana started talking, and I just kept quiet like a fool as she talking about Avonlea High and her mother, even her sister Minnie May. I was mostly stressed out about Diana learning I was an orphan and running as fast and far away as she could. 

"Have you always been shy?" she asked me. I couldn't help but snicker. Me, shy!? 

"Oh my no. I'm just baffled on what to converse about."

"You talk different than how the people I know talk," she expressed. I thought it was accusatory but I saw a fond smile on her face directed at me. I couldn't help but slip one out as well.

"I like to read a lot," I replied, hoping that explanation would be enough.

"I like to read as well, but haven't really done much these days."

"I like to imagine I'm one of the characters as I read a book. That I am apart of this amazing story full of _beauty_ and _tragedy._ "

"Imagination isn't my strong suite," Diana replied.

"I don't know what I'd do without mine." There was more truth to those words that I'd like to let on. What _would_ I do without it? Go into a world of agony and self pity. Life would probably be so boring and useless without it. Diana and I started playing, running around the fields talking about anything and everything. We even made a story together and acted it out, something I haven't done with another person other than Jerry. It was exhilarating. I was almost happy. Almost. But Diana has made me the closest to happiness I have ever gotten in a long time. She didn't call any of my games babyish, or scoff at me the countless times I was getting lost in my head. Lost in a fantasy. 

"Diana, do you think you could like me? Just, a little?"

Diana laughed, and I thought that was it. She looked at me in such amazement I actually felt special, and grabbed my hands with hers. "I already do!" she exclaimed. 

That's when I got my first ever bosom friend. And I can say, at that moment, I was just a little bit happy. 

_**Jerry's POV** _

“What if Matthrew or Marilla tell them their siblings?”

“I already told them what we were doing. They’ll keep the act for us. And not many people remember them enough to know they were siblings.”

“Then-”

“Stop worrying Jerry, it’ll be fine. It isn’t lying. It’s just not disclosing because it is none of their damn business.” 

I sighed. Anne never did like thinking things through, but I knew eventually, we'd get caught. I guess for the time being, we were taking our chances. 

"Turn left Jerry! Did you even pass your test?" she scowled. Anne's mood swings are all too famous in our family, and we usually don't take them to heart. She once called Marilla a selfish.... well, I'd never repeat the vile word she uttered that day, but Anne cried for a week afterwards apologizing. She let's her anger get the best of her, and I was worried school would be no different. And because we don't have the same classes, I can't watch over her. I pulled into the parking lot, parked, and started walking towards the school before I felt a hand go into mine. I turned and saw Anne cowering behind me, worriedly looking at the tall building. I squeezed her hand back as we ventured into the crowd of hollering students.

Right when we entered, some girl in a short, blue dress started running up to us, and I held in a scream when she practically tackled Anne. How dare this strange girl attack my sister! I was about to lay one on her when I turned and saw Anne and the girl hugging and giggling. My eyes widened in surprise that Anne already met someone, and she just stuck her tongue out when she noticed my expression.

"Diana, this is my brother Jerry. Jerry, my bosom friend Diana," Anne said. I nodded my head at her and she gave me a small smile. I could tell she really wanted to talk with Anne and so I left the two giggling girls together, and made my way through the school to find my locker. Maybe she isn't going to need my help after all, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. When I got to my locker, I saw a boy opening his as well. He seemed around my age, and gave him a nod as he smiled at me. 

"New?" he asked. I nodded again. "I'm Gilbert."

"Jerry," I replied. He looked at me, and something seemed to click in his head as he looked at me once more.

"Anne's brother, right?"

"Uh, yeah," I replied. _How did Anne already get so well known?_ I was about to ask Gilbert where he knew my sister from, but he shut his locker and gave me a wave as he walked away. I sighed. First class, history.


	4. Perfectly Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana just denying her feelings :)  
> Anne being a ball of light.  
> Revelations!  
> and a party?
> 
> I don't want to write too many chapters so this one will probably be a tad longer than usual. 
> 
> Also I had no clue what to name this chapter so...

_**Diana’s POV** _

It’s been a week since Anne and her brother came to Avonlea High. And now, I can’t imagine a life without her in it. Every other day, we meet up and walk to school together (I can’t ignore my others friends completely) and share stories about everything. She’s like this little ball of light, but there is one thing I never really noticed about Anne until now. Her eyes. 

Doing get me wrong, she is the most beautiful girl I have ever laid _my_ eyes on. Her silky, auburn hair (in their little braids) and breathtaking physique. Her laugh, so contagious I can’t help but laugh along with her, even if I don’t understand the joke. The way she showed up on the second day of school with a flower crown she made herself out of daisy’s! The yellow atop her red hair nearly left me breathless, and I was staring at her like a blubbering fool until the teacher made her take it off. 

But her eyes....  
There are the most beautiful ocean eyes I’ve ever seen in my life. The icy blue should look completely odd with the colour of her hair, and yet I can’t imagine them any other way. Her eyes just never... shine.  
Sure, they are naturally beautiful and shiny, but when she is talking excitedly about a new story or she’s listening with a smile on her face at my constant embarrassing self speak, her eyes stay the same. They don’t glisten like I’ve seen on others when they are happy and confident. They don’t shine in excitement like I’ve seen Ruby’s do all so many times when she’s talking about her one way crushes on every guy she meets.  
Everyone knows that look you get in your eyes when you’re so happy or so ecstatic about something you find scrumptiously (a phrase taught to me by Anne herself) joyous. It led me to think: is Anne really happy? 

I don’t know why she shouldn’t be. She has two extraordinary parents who have been nothing but kind to me despite them living so deep in the past. Her brother is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met, going up to me when I looked lonely the day Anne got sick, and making me laugh. Her imagination, the best thing I have ever witnessed in someone’s personality. And yet her eyes never change from the regular blue that they are. 

They never shine. 

And I don’t know if either I’m looking too hard or... or if maybe, just maybe, Anne has nothing that makes her eradicate with happiness. Which led me to think, and I’ll repeat, is Anne truely happy?

Then again, I am spending way to much time thinking of the beauty instead of studying. Which is normal. Anne is my friend. Of course I’m worried about her and so therefore it is perfectly acceptable to stare at her during class, and think about her constantly. She is new. It’s normal. Perfectly normal. It isn’t as if I’m obsessed with the girl. You only get obsessive when you have a crush on someone, and I do not have a crush on Anne. I shook my head just thinking about it. It isn’t as if liking another girl is wrong, we don’t live in the Middle Ages. But not me. Not Diana Barry. 

I sat up on my bed and started pulling out some textbooks. I really need to distract myself from —  
I mean I need to get some studying done. And boy, do I need help in history class. 

*** *** ***

“DIANA!”

I snapped out of my train of thought (totally not about the red head’s eyes) and looked at Josie Pye, the one who called me. Then I remembered where I was. Our lunch table. I gave her a small apologetic smile. 

“Sorry, daydreaming,” I told her. She rolled her eyes at me, but didn’t say anything as she started talking to Tillie. I sighed. I turned my head and looked at Anne, chatting excessively with Ruby who seemed to grow more and more disgusted after ever word Anne was saying. The girls still don’t really like her, and I was so relieved, and very surprised, when I brought Anne to our table the first day and Josie Pye allowed her to sit with us. Again. And again. Yet, No one but me really liked her. One week (and one day) later and they still don’t like Anne, and they don’t even try to get to know her. I try not to let it bother me, but it does. So what if she talks a lot, has flaming dark red hair, and a huge imagination? They’re acting as if she’s some kind of weird creature other than a human being. It’s annoying. 

“Ugh Diana. What are you thinking about anyways?” I heard a voice say again. I looked around and saw everyone staring at me yet again. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably, not liking the attention. What is wrong with me? I’m usually not this out of it. I looked over at Anne, and her blue eyed looked at me sort of worriedly. I snapped my gaze back at Josie. 

Anne’s intense beaut- 

Anne’s piercing g-

Anne’s worry leaving me breathless. 

“Sorry. I barely had any sleep. I lost track of time yesterday and forgot about the homework till late night,” I said, which technically wasn’t even a lie. Ruby gave me an apologetic look and patted my hand, reaching across Anne in the process. I tried not to be mad at how Ruby sort of pushed through Anne to get with me, before going into a rant about how amazing Gilbert looked today. I sighed, and everyone else did as well.

Every week, Ruby gets a new crush on some guy. Last week it was Charlie Sloane, this week Gilbert Blythe. I’m not sure if you can even call it a crush, considering she just obsessively talks about that guy until he gets ‘boring’ and moves on to someone else. I looked over at Josie, who was unusually quiet and caught her looking at Anne in thought. She caught my eye, and sneered as her gaze headed back to the red head. Oh no. I recognized that glare. It’s when she’s about to do something.  
Something not necessarily nice. 

“So, Anne. Do _you_ have a crush on anyone?” Josie asked suddenly, totally cutting Ruby off from her rant about how Gilbert’s smile is better than the stars or some cheesy shit like that. 

“What?” Anne asked as if she wasn’t sure she heard Josie correctly. 

“I asked, if you have a crush on anyone. Or think anyone is cute?”

“Uhh, I don’t really know anyone much to develop a crush on someone,” she replied nervously. She seemed really uncomfortable and shy all of a sudden, which is unlike her even when Josie is involved. I wanted to slap that smug look of Josie’s face, but of course, I didn’t. I just patted Anne’s back in support, something Ruby pouted at. It’s like she was scared my touching Anne I was getting some kind of disease. But oh, how I’ll take any chance to be able to touch- 

“Anyone you find good looking then? Come on, we have lots of attractive people at this school. Like.... Charlie Sloane. Royal Gardner. Billy Andrews. Even Gilbert Blythe.” 

Anne glared at Josie, but knew she had to answer her or else she’ll never stop harassing Anne. 

“Billy Andrews is far from attractive,” Anne said slowly, as if she wasn’t really sure what she was going to say as she opening her mouth. 

“Then who?” Josie pressed. 

Just as suddenly, Anne got this look in her eye that made me take a deep breath. Anne’s mood swings are well known to me, and we’ve only been friends for a week. 

“I’d say _Prissy_ Andrews, is by far more attractive than Billy could ever be.”

Silence. Complete and utter silence. Josie’s sneer transformed into her mouth hanging out, and Jane, Prissy and Billy’s sister, looked disgusted as if someone thinking her older sister was cute was horrific. And me? Well I was trying to get my brain to catch up to what Anne was oh so delicately trying to imply.

“My sister!” Jane cried, breaking the shocked silence after Anne took an obnoxiously loud bite of her carrot. I let out a small smile, remembering Anne hitting Gilbert’s head with a slate for calling her ‘carrots’ on the first day of school.  
But then I took in Anne’s words once more and my smile was gone, and my brain almost finished rebooting out of its shock. 

“What? Is this school not accepting or something?” Anne asked, another bite out of the carrot. Ruby seemed to be the first to recover, despite not liking Anne she didn’t want the girl to feel this wasn’t a safe environment.

“Nothing of the sort! People here are very accepting,” she said. “Love is love, even if you are attracted to the opposite gender.” 

Anne gave the girl such a wide smile I wished I was the one to be the first to snap out of the shock. 

“I’m actually bisexual. So if anyone has a problem with that, address it now or forever hold you’re tongue.”

Without really thinking, I wrapped my arms around Anne’s side, considering we were sitting next to each other and I couldn’t give her a proper bear hug like I wanted to. I felt her shoulders relax from their uptight position and I smiled. 

“Of course we accept you Anne!” I cried. I was happy that she felt as if she could be her true self around me, around us. But still, it was as if my brain was still processing because I couldn’t stop think one thing. Over and over and over again. 

_Anne likes GIRLS and boys._

_GIRLS_ and boys. 

...

Girls.

Holy shit.

_**Anne's POV** _

News of my sexuality spread like wildfire. 

I didn't hate that, I wanted a relationship in high school and people knowing I like boys and girls will hopefully gain more people's interests. Yet, who was I fooling? No one could ever develop a crush on someone as weird and loathsome like me. 

Yet, I hated how so many people were giving me mixed looks as I walked down the hallway towards my locker. I only told my friends (if I can even call them that) yesterday, and it was as if the entire town already knew about it. Matthew was right. Word travels fast around here. I ran into Ms.Barry at the market yesterday after school, and she gave me the most disgusted look that I had to physically stop myself from making a remark. I just feel bad for Diana for having such an old fashioned mother. 

Diana. 

I'm not going to deny it, the girl is one of the top reasons why I told the gang so quickly. It was only the second week of school for me! But my goodness if I didn't let it out soon I felt as if I was going to burst. Diana confuses me. A lot.  
She never gave any indication of liking the opposite gender, and yet I can _feel_ her gaze on me during class sometimes, and I didn't miss the way she eyed me when I wore my daisy crown to school. I don't know what to think of it. The most beautiful, kindest, sweetest girl I've ever met in my life always seemed like she was looking at me and I desperately wanted (and hoped) that it was out of desire. I've developed a small, teeny tiny crush on my best friend and I was horrified. Crushes on bosom friends was unacceptable. Especially ones who would never like you back. Even if having a crush on a exquisite girl such as Diana should be perfectly normal. Who wouldn't like her? Yet, I pushed those thoughts and feelings far down until I got home and could dream of the chocolate eyed princess all night (and day).

When I came out, I wanted to know how Diana would react. And well, all I should say is that I shouldn't have enjoyed that hug as much as I did.

"Hey Anne," a voice called out to me, snapping me out of my imagination resulting in me to realize I was standing in front of my locker not doing anything. I closed the door, and looked around to see Gilbert Blythe with a grin on his face, walking towards me. I rolled my eyes. Not this doofus. 

"Glad I caught you," Gilbert said when he was standing in front of me. I rolled my eyes at him and he shot me a smirk. 

"You're going to cause me brain damage by the amount of times I roll my eyes at you," I replied. 

"Stop fooling yourself Shirley. We both know you enjoy being in my presence."

"Just because you apologized and I forgave you, doesn't mean we're friends. And it's Shirley- **Cuthbert**."

"Well then I guess you don't want to be invited to my party this Saturday."

At this I perked up. A party! Gilbert was inviting me to a party! I've never been to one before it would be so lively to attend one! I couldn't let Gilbert see my excitement though, but alas I can never hide my emotions. At least, other than my romantic ones. 

"Don't worry Anne, you and you're friends are all invited." I flinched at the word friends, but Gilbert didn't seem to notice. Instead, he had a glint in his eye and he was looking at me with a fond smile. I didn't give it much thought. Marilla says I have such a strong personality that when I'm excited others tend to pick up on it and join in my glee. 

"Oh thank you Gilbert! I've never been to a party before it shall be spectacular!" Without really thinking it through, I wrapped my arms around Gilbert's waist and gave him a hug, and pulled away just as quickly. His face started gaining a little colour, and I laughed at his shock. It's as if he has never gotten a hug before. Gilbert started stuttering, but his huge smile confused me. Why was he so happy all of a sudden?

"You're acting as if you've never been hugged before Gilbert!" I laughed. I turned my head a little to see Diana at the other end of the hallway, looking at me. I couldn't read her expression... it looked... sad? I wasn't sure. When I caught her eye I gave Diana a big smile and motioned her forwards. Diana seemed to be dragging her feet across the hallway as she made her way over, and I could easily tell her breathtaking smile was coming out a little forced. A gave her a confused look before setting my gaze back at Gilbert who seemed to have calmed down.

"Diana you'll never believe what happened! Gilbert invited us to a party!" I squealed. Inside I was excited to go experience something new, and yet I wasn't as happy as I thought I'd be. I wasn't really happy at all. I sighed. If a party didn't make me happy, what will?

"That's great," Diana said with a small grin. Gilbert must have realized that no one was really addressing him, so he said he'll text us the address before walking away with a skip in his step. I smiled at his goofiness. I will never understand that boy

"Since when were Gilbert and you friends?" Diana asked. I scrunched up my face. 

"We are _not_! He just invited us to a party."

"He invited you Anne. You seem to be the only one who doesn't realize that Gilbert clearly likes you!" she cried. 

"That's absurd."  
_No one could ever like me_ I added internally. No need to let my insecurities out into the world after all. News of my bisexuality spread in a single day, after all.

"You hugged him Anne! And he was clearly flustered afterwards!" Diana seemed upset that I didn't understand, and I was upset by how she thought someone like Gilbert Blythe could ever have a crush on me! I wasn't even that pretty. Somewhat, sure. But not as pretty as all the other girls.

"Let's stop talking about Gilbert and start talking about this party!" I exclaimed. 

"When did you start calling him by his first name? You've always called him Blythe."

"Diana, drop it. Who cares. Anyways, I'll come to your house after breakfast so we can prepare for the scrumptious event!"

As I started going on and on about what we'd wear and everything we'd do, I didn't notice Diana's heartbroken expression. I didn't notice how me hugging and talking to Gilbert made her really feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing in Diana’s point of view she is such an amazing character! Also, thank you everyone who left kudos I am really greatful!
> 
> In case you were wondering I don’t really have a posting schedule down so I just write when I have time


	5. Drunken Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literally just Diana being jealous and some background Jerry and Ruby idk.

_**Diana's POV** _

_God she's beautiful_. 

Anne and I were at Green Gables inside her room, almost done getting dressed for the party. Anne walked out of the washroom, wearing a white see through crop top, with a black bra underneath that you could _see_. To top it off, she wore this cute red and black plaid shirt that just passed her knees. She literally stole my breath away, and I couldn't breath until Anne looked at me with a panicked expression. 

"Is this good for a party? I hope it isn't too much, or too little. I don't know what to DO," she cried, dramatically falling on top of her bed, arm brushing against me. The contact shook me away from my blunt staring, and I lightly hit Anne on the side.

"Anne, you look beautiful. Now let's just go before we're late," I replied, trying to speak as steadily as I could. I wish Anne saw herself the way I saw her. I wish Anne knew how damn beautiful she is. At this point, I've stopped denying what I was feeling around Anne. Friends don't feel this way with one another. I liked Anne, which was scary and exhilarating for me to find out about myself, but at the same time a relief to finally find out. I've never had a boyfriend. Boys never interested me in any way, but I thought it was because I never found the right one. Now I know, I'll never find him. I smiled at Anne whose face was buried underneath the pillow, muttering about what a fool she's going to make of herself. I knew Aunt Jo and Gertrude loved each other, more than a friend would. I thought it was wrong at first, that because it was a secret it was wrong. 

I looked at Anne, auburn hair spread around her shoulders (she decided to wear it down), freckles scattered around her cheeks like stars, but most importantly the person she is. Big heart, big imagination, and just such a pure, kindred spirit. I sighed. How could this feeling ever be considered wrong?

Anne chose that moment to sit up, and gave me a lazy smile. "Our chariot awaits, my dear Diana." She stood up and put a hand towards me for me to grab. I did just that, pulling myself off of the bed and grinning back at the girl. "Is everything okay?" she asked after a moment.

"Never better."

... 

Everything was definitely _not_ okay! It's been 30 minutes since Anne and I arrived and she's already been whisked away by none other than stupid Gilbert Blythe. I've always liked that boy, now I have to hate that boy. I spotted them chatting in the kitchen and just froze, staring at them with so much jealousy mixing around inside of me I thought I would burst! I forcefully tore my gaze away, and walked towards the other girls who were on the couch. 

The party was in full swing. Students dancing, laughing, making out everywhere! I even saw some alcohol being distributed about and I doubt Gilbert would've been okay with. I guess he didn't notice with a certain redhead stealing his attention. I growled, hearing Anne laugh even from the kitchen. Her mesmerizing laugh that made you want to join in even if you haven't a clue what it is she's laughing about. I turned back towards my friends, who were all laughing at some joke Ruby uttered. I looked over at the girl, surprised she was unfazed by her newfound crush's attention being on someone else. 

"Hey Ruby, don't you _like_ Gilbert?" I whispered to her, gesturing silently to Anne and Gilbert in the kitchen. Ruby stared at them, but shrugged. "Not really. Have you _Jerry_? He's sooo handsome." 

I gave her a small nod, fighting the urge to scream. Why was I the only one feeling this way? This sickening jealous rage threatening to consume me. I didn't want to feel this. All I wanted was to be dancing and fooling around with Anne. All I wanted was to whisper, talk and giggle with Anne about the people at this party. All I wanted was **Anne**. 

But she'd never want me. 

For some reason, my body reacted before my brain caught up to what I was doing. I just grabbed a red drink off the tray that was passing by me, and took a long swig. Josie laughed and congratulated me on not being a downer, and I shot her a lopsided grin. I took another swig, and another, and next thing I knew the drink was finished and Josie was handing me another red cup, filled with something I really didn't care to know. All I knew is that I just didn't want to feel this way anymore.

_**Jerry's POV** _

I am not quite sure how I ended up at this 'Gilbert Blythe's' party, but Anne said I was welcome to come. So I did, unsure what to expect. 

This, however, is not quite what I imagined. 

The music was too loud, people were everywhere swaying their hips and moving their sweaty bodies. Others, making out in corners and literally _grinding_ in public with strangers, their partners, I'm not even sure. I arrived with Anne and Diana, driving them here. I avoided all the drinks, not wanting to experience everything all in one night. The person that surprised me the most, was Ruby. The girl from the grocery store. 

The girl in the tight pink dress that was way too short for her, came up to me and freaking smashed her lips onto mine. I couldn't tell if she was drunk or not, but all she did was kiss me aggressively, then pull back saying how she thought I looked 'fucking hot' in my jeans. I would never admit this to anyone, but my goodness, did it turn me on. Still, I wasn't about to go look for her, mostly because I was still in shock after my first kiss. Who would've thunk it. I had this weird, goofy smile playing on my lips, I was well aware of it too, but didn't do anything to suppress it down.

I was not aware of the other, meaner, girl from the grocery store, Josie, walking up to me until her face was right in front of mine, a smirk plastered on her red lips. I stepped back, snapping out of my thoughts as the other girl laughed menacingly. I never knew a laugh could sound so frightening.

"Hello, Jerry Bernard," she said sweetly. I gulped. I replied a shaky 'hello' and even waved my hand. She smiled at the gesture, eyes gleaming. To those who knew Josie Pye, they'd know she was about to say something relatively not nice. Because Jerry did not, he didn't think anything of it. Even assumed it was the light hitting her at the right angle. "Let's cut right to the chase, shall we?"

"What chase?" I replied, my brain going a little slow.

"The fact that you and Anne are both orphans, of course." she laughed. "What else?" 

My heart practically leaped out of my skin. I squirmed, hands beginning to shake. I was never good with confrontations. But still, we only lasted 2 weeks. That was quote pathetic. "How... how do you know that?" I asked with false bravado.

"The internet has everything. All I had to do was plug in your names and read."

I gulped. "What do you want?" 

"Nothing, sweet Jerry. I just want people to know the _truth_. And sure enough, they will." Josie put her phone back into her pocket, and gave me a once over. "Enjoy the party."

And just like that, she was gone.

_**Anne's POV** _

“Diana, why’d you drink so much?” I asked her. After we arrived at the party, Gilbert and I talked about school, Avonlea, etc. After leaving him and looking for Diana, I found the poor girl standing on top of a table swaying with Charlie Sloane, extremely drunk. I don’t understand it, Diana didn’t seem like the kind of girl who got this drunk at a party. Even I avoided those beverages; I didn’t want to forget the day of my first ever party (as did Jerry). I couldn’t fathom what happened that made Diana want to get this intoxicated. 

Her signature ribbon was lost among the crowd, her hair tangles sticking out messily. Beautiful baby blue blouse covered in wrinkles, lipstick smudged around the outlines of her mouth. And somehow she lost her shoes. 

Even dead ass drunk Diana looked like the most beautiful girl i’ve ever laid my eyes on. How I wished to comb my fingers through those enchanting, tangled looks. Wanted to feel her lips upon mine. I snapped out of my perverted thoughts after I heard Diana start to speak. 

“I hate that Gilbt Blyte,” Diana slurred, words not quite making sense.

I was still able to catch what she was saying. Why would Diana hate Gilbert? I thought they were friends? I asked her this and the girl just groaned. 

“Gilbert had your attention allllllll night,” she waved her hands around while stretching her letters; too adorable. “I want the attention. Me!” I smiled fondly at her, but she didn’t see as her gaze was set at the ceiling. 

We were currently sitting in the dining room, and for some reason it was completely empty. I was glad, no one needed to hear our conversation. Mostly because Diana was a blubbering fool that wasn't making any sense in the slightest, and I didn't need anyone seeing my love struck expression also.

“Diana, did you feel left out?” I replied gently, trying to stiffen a laugh from the way her face squished up.

“Jealous. Gilbert Blythe _likes_ you, and you _like_ him,” she growled. “You two are clearlyyyyy goinnng to.. to date. And you… forget me!” 

“Di, Gilbert told me he liked him, but I told him i wasn’t interested. I’d never have a crush on the Gilbert Blythe, okay? And I would never forget you.”

“Do you mean that?” Diana replied, her eyes starting to close. I reached out to shake her, she could at least wait to fall asleep in the car, but rested my hand on her head instead. I caressed her hair with my thumb, and Diana sighed in response, spread on top the table. It made her look peaceful, in a way. 

“Of course I mean it.” 

How could she not know how much I cared for her? My first ever friend, first ever person who never pushed me for answers, first person (other than my family) to ever like me! She should know how much my life would crumble without her with me, despite knowing each other for such a small amount of time. I was falling hard, and fast. 

“You are the best Anne,” Diana said groggily, not quite asleep yet. I smiled and was about to reply when she continued. “And god, you are _so_ enchanting. And… and beautiful.” 

I laughed softly, a warm feeling growing inside of my chest. 

“You’re beautiful too, sweet Diana,” I whispered back. Diana’s grin was so blinding, my breath couldn’t help but hitch. Butterflies started mixing up with that warm feeling from before, and I gulped hard. 

“But…. but you don’t realize how splendid you are, Anne. How… awesome…. and, and gorgeous!… everything about you….” 

I didn’t know how to react to Diana saying such things about me. Is it possible that… she thinks of me as more than a bosom friend? I shook that thought away, repeating the mantra that there was no way a spectacular girl like Diana could have romantic feelings for me.

Right? 

“Your eyes,” she breathed. “I can… can get lost in those blue eyes for days. Your hair…. god, all I want… all I want is to run my hand through those locks of dark red, so beautiful… so unique and soft. All I want is y…”

Diana trailed off, sleep finally seizing her. I was disappointed, wondering what she was about to say before she fell asleep. I was also glad because then Diana didn’t have to see the heat that found its way up on my cheeks, and I wordlessly tucked a piece of stray hair away from the sleeping beauty’s face before burying myself into my thoughts, all about the raven haired princess.

With a stat, I realized that every thought I had about Diana liking me back left me feeling, sort of… happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in so damn long I'm sorry. If you're still reading, thanks for sticking through this story I lost inspiration for but must finish.
> 
> I didn't want to write about Diana and Aunt Jo talking about that it's okay to be different, mainly because I am a lazy human who is extremely busy and rushing to finish this. Also, because I wanted Diana to know straight away what she was feeling for Anne was okay.


	6. Fucking Gilbert!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I like to think that in modern day, Anne would say whatever came to mind, even a bunch of swear words. Has nothing to do with this chapter just one of my thoughts.

_**Diana's POV** _

I groaned as I woke up, reaching for my bedside table to grab my phone, to realize it wasn’t there. I sat up quickly, and immediately winced at the headache I developed due to all that alcohol I inhaled last night. I looked around the room, and realized two things. 

One, this is not my room. 

Two, I was still in my clothes from the party. 

Holy shit......did I go home with someone? Was I so drunk I had my first time without even knowing it? Who was it with! Oh god my parents are going to kill me. Maybe it was a good thing I wasn’t at home, knowing I reaked if alcohol. My parents would kill me even quicker if they knew I was drunk. How could I be so stupid! 

As I was having a mini panic attack, I heard the doorknob to the mysterious bedroom twist and I held my breath in anticipation…

To reveal Anne on the other side. 

“Morning sleepyhead,” she said softly. I gave her a smile for her quiet volume during my unfortunate hangover and grinned even more when I saw she had a glass of water with her. 

“What happened last night?” I asked her groggily. 

“You drank a whole fucking lot. You fell asleep on the table so I asked Gilbert if it was okay if we slept over,” she replied. 

I let out a sigh of relief. So I didn’t sleep with someone. Thank the lord. I gave Anne an appreciative smile, and she turned away at the gaze, but not before I spotted a… blush? Definitely a blush. I grinned even wider, sitting up quickly to chug the water. Seeing the liquid made me realize how thirsty I was. 

“I really should leave now,” I told her. Anne simply nodded. 

“Marilla and Matthew know I’m here, so I might stay a while.”

I nodded, trying not to think about how Anne was staying in Gilbert’s house, with Gilbert, alone. I pushed down the jealousy and gave her a tight smile but not before remembering something from last night. Anne telling me about Gilbert. I winced, headache really getting to me and Anne was at my side at an instant, asking if I was alright. 

“I’m fine, just… what exactly happened last night?” 

I really wanted to know, but was terrified to learn what the hell I did while I was drunk. Or said. Anne visibly blushed openly this time, not even trying to hide it. 

“Nothing too bad…” Anne replied sheepishly. 

I groaned. “What’d I do?”

“Well, you may or may not have danced on the table and… danced with Charlie Sloane before puking all over him. You sang all the songs that played. And pulled the top part of your dress… off.”

I looked down and realized that indeed the straps to my dress were hanging down my waist. Thank god I wore an undershirt instead of a bra. Lifting my head back up, I saw Anne's face turn a shade darker.

Still, after hearing Anne tell me all the ways I embarrassed myself, I flung face first onto my bed, forgetting about my handover and almost gagged (again, apparently) all over the bed. I took a breath, and shoved the urge down. 

“Hide me from the world, Anne.”

She laughed. “I found the whole debacle somewhat amusing. And don’t worry, the entire time you looked pretty hot.”

I felt heat rush up to my face and was thankful Anne couldn’t see. _Hot? Anne thinks I looked HOT_ while I was drunk no less. I smiled, her words giving me an odd sort of comfort. 

I felt the bed dip beside me, as the girl gently lifted my head and put it in her lap. I let out a small sigh, snuggling myself inside of her. Anne’s hand immediately went to my hair as she combed through the tangles, and I felt an odd sense of déjà vu. As if Anne had done this before. I shook it away, and just reveled in how at peace I was, fully aware of what I'd have to endure when coming out of this room. 

“Uh… there is one more thing you should know. About last night,” Anne said softly. I shushed her, just wanted to enjoy this moment, and she thankfully obeyed, smiling down at me with a love-struck gaze. If only I turned my head up and saw it. 

-

“Where have you **been** young lady?!” Father screamed at me. My entire family was waiting for me once I got home later in the afternoon from Gilbert’s house. Actually, Anne’s house. We had to go there quickly for her to lend me her clothes so my parents didn’t see I had the same ones on from yesterday.

“I slept over at Anne’s, remember I told you I would yesterday,” I replied, looking over at my mother. “I told you, and you said yes.” I hoped my voice sounded as steady as I thought it did.

“You look like you haven’t slept for days!” Mother exclaimed, running up to me and then rubbing her thumb across the bags under my eyes.

“We stayed up all night mother, I’m sorry.”

My father cried at me to go to my room, obviously stumped on why he should continue being mad, yet didn’t want to falter. I sighed, and even though I desperately wanted to stomp up the stairs and scream at my father for never being understanding, I drew my shoulders back, put my hand on the railing, and walked up the stairs with ease.

I love my parents. I really do. I just feel like they love their image and reputation more than they actually love me.

_**Anne’s POV** _

Fuck Josie Pye. 

I didn’t even have it in me to use big, beautiful words to describe that horrible girl. She should learn to mind her own business instead of putting her nose in others. I have gotten so much gossip going around about me already, and she had to go ahead and add more to it. What would Diana think? Would she be mad I lied to her? What if she thinks I don’t trust her? The last time I saw Diana was when dropping her off at her house on Saturday. And now, it’s Monday. Josie spread the news Saturday afternoon, which is a lot of time for Diana to start despising me. I don’t think I could emotionally handle school without her by my side.  
When I see that Josie at school I swear-

“Anne?” Jerry’s voice said from the other side of my door. “I’m leaving soon, if you want a ride.” 

“Give me a sec,” I replied. Instead, Jerry thought it’d be a good idea to enter my room and lean on the edge of the door rather awkwardly. The sight would’ve usually made me make a sarcastic remark and laugh if I wasn’t so furious.

“Anne, you need to face the music. I did tell you this would happen.”

“Did you come into my room to gloat, Jerry?” I snapped, tightening my left braid. 

“You did decide it would be a good idea to lie to everyone about our _real_ past!”

“You agreed to it too, remember!”

“We both know that when you set your mind to something, no one can even _try_ to disagree.”

“That’s not my problem!”

Jerry groaned, combing his hand through his hair. Instead of debating more with me, he just turned around and left, muttering that he’ll be in the car. Once the door was closed, I turned back to my reflection on the mirror, and reached for my eyeshadow. I usually didn’t put on too much makeup at a point it didn’t even look like I was wearing any at all. I was just not very good at it. 

Looking at the colours in my palette, I quickly changed course from the light pink to the black. People in this town already had such low opinions of me and my outfit choices. Why not give the people what they want? Plus, I’ve always wanted to try the black eye look. I saw it on Ruby during the party and it did wonders. Even I was enchanted by her tight pink dress (that only went up to her thighs) and mystifying eye look. Not that I’d ever admit that…

-

“Hey Diana,” I cried to the girl while walking up towards her locker. We haven’t seen each other all morning, considering Jerry and I were late which I can humbly admit was my doing. It was lunch, and i’ve been dying to see my bosom crush- _friend_ all day. Especially with the rumors circulating around. Although, I must admit I have enjoyed all the second looks i’ve been getting in class, for either my new (one day only) look or the fact I'm an orphan. 

Diana turned around, lunch money in hand as she gave me a tight smile. 

Not a good sign. 

I tried to ignore the bad feeling rising in my stomach as I approached. Getting closer, Diana’s gaze seemed to sharpen and she seemed to be… staring? At ME! I chuckled. No way that was possible; she’s looking at me because I am moving towards her. That was it. Diana could never see me the way I see her.

“Anne,” Diana said with a breath of air. I gave her a little curtsy and I shot a bright smile whereas inside, I was a jumble of emotions.

Diana _had_ to be mad at me. Why else would she behave so oddly? She’s mad because I never told her about my past and led her to believe in so many lies. She won’t want to be my friend, and without Diana I would spiral into the void of darkness already resting in my soul. The anger I had at the world, sadness of losing everyone and everyone eventually leaving me, depressed. 

I’m afraid I'll fall deeper into those emotions. As they make me doubt every person who comes into my life. Discovering new things, exciting things, imagining my life as Cordelia, not even enough to allow me to feel more than an ounce of joy. Happiness is a foreign concept to my gloomy mind.  
Snapping out of my thoughts, I focused my attention on Diana who still hasn’t said anything. She was still staring at me. 

“Do I have something on my face?” I asked her, a little unease with how Diana’s gaze was unwavering from mine. That comment seemed to snap her out of it though, which I was grateful for. 

“Sorry, uh, you changed your look…”

“Yeah. Tried something new for a day.” I did a little spin, and gave Diana my best grin. “How does it look?”

“Mesmerizing,” Diana breathed. I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just left it before over analyzing that one word. She seemed to snap out of whatever she was thinking, and gave me a smile. “Let’s go to lunch.”

“Uh, if you don’t mind do you think we could eat outside today? Just the two of us?”

I really didn’t want to face all the looks in the cafeteria, and especially Josie Pye. Despite how much I hated her, I’ve never been good at confrontations in front of a crowd. And there would be a hell of a lot of students occupying the lunch room. Also, it seems Diana doesn’t even _know_ about the rumors and I’d like to be the one to tell her.

Luckily, Diana didn’t seem to mind and simply smiled, linking our two arms together. I stared at her side profile a little too long, and before second guessing it I leaned into her side, and removed my hand from hers to insert it around her waist. If she was uncomfortable, she didn’t show it and I swore I felt her lean into the touch as well.

-

“Did your parents get mad at you?” I asked her. 

Diana and I were at green gables, in the stables. After school we practically ran here and because Matthew and Marilla were out (and Jerry was out doing god knows what) we had the entire farm to ourselves. I took off all that eye makeup, and changed into something more comfortable. The new look was nice, but not really me. Diana seemed to be more relaxed and less awkward after I got rid of it, for reasons I may know. But won’t think about. Because it was simply impossible.

After the whole party fiasco, I haven’t had the chance to ask Diana what her parents said when she got home. She’s told me her parents were very strict and conservative. I don’t think they’d handle their drunk daughter coming home the next morning very well.

“I told them before I left that I was staying over at your house, so they have no idea about the whole… show I presented last night.” I chuckled. “I was sure everyone would be talking about the idiot girl dancing on the tables!”

“Well no one seemed to care. Everyone gets drunk Di, and it was still such an amazing experience for my first party!” I giggled, reassuring her. 

Diana smiled with me, and leaned closer to me to rest her head on my shoulder. My breath hitched softly, and I felt a blush rising up my cheeks. I did nothing to get rid of it, it wasn’t as if Diana could see. I wrapped one arm around Diana’s side, and gently pulled her closer to me. I barely even had to pull, as she was already leaning in. A few minutes of comfortable silence emerged, both of us enjoying the other’s presence. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were an orphan?” Diana suddenly asked. 

I flitched, retracting my arm and leaning away from Diana, shocked. _She knew!_ And… and she was still here. With me. 

Her face erupted into a frown by my sudden departure, but my mind was going too fast to think about it. All I thought was Diana knew I was a stinky orphan and she was probably planning on getting all cozy with me for the last time, before yelling at me. 

“I… I didn’t want to experience it all again.”

“Experience what?” she asked softly. She didn’t even sound **mad**.

“The constant mockery of it all!” I threw my hands up in the air, exasperated. Anger bubbled up inside of me with all the memories resurfacing. I couldn’t help but open my mouth and start ranting to Diana. “I didn’t want people to know because at my last school, I was ridiculed and made fun of and fucking bullied just because I was an orphan. People said Marilla and Mattew were only taking care of Jerry and I out of pity and… and my parents left me. I didn’t want to experience it all again and -”

“People in this school aren’t like that Anne,” Diana exclaimed, grabbing my hands and squeezing it. “I’m not like that.”

“How was I supposed to know that?”

“You could’ve told me _afterwards!_ We have been friends for weeks, Anne. You really thought if you told me I’d make fun of you?”

“It’s all anyone ever did,” I replied sadly. Diana’s expression changed into one of pity, and as she reached over to hug me I stood up, and took a step back. “I don’t need your pity.”

“It isn’t pity,” she replied unconvincingly. I raised my eyebrows and crossed my hands over my chest. She sighed, and stood up as well. “Anne, the bottom line, is that I don’t care if you're an orphan. It sucks but you’re still you and I’d never make fun of you okay?”

I smiled, and gave her a shy nod. 

“I’m just sad you didn’t give me much credit.”

“You sound like Gilbert,” I muttered. Diana’s eyes perked up at that, and her expression hardened. 

“What do you mean by that?”

“Oh, I just meant that at the party Gilbert and I were talking and he said I should give you more credit than to think you’d make fun of me.”

“You told Gilbert!”

“No, Di we were just talking and-”

“It’s always about Gilbert!” Diana cried angrily, interrupting me. I flinched at her tone, she sounded really upset. “Gilbert made fun of me in class, Gilbert keeps bothering me, Gilbert invited us to a party, _Gilbert Gilbert Gilbert._ ”

“Diana…” I said softly, trying to calm her down. I reached my arms out but she was so into her rant she didn’t even notice me trying to come closer. 

“And now you tell him something so important before you tell me! Your _best_ fucking friend!”

“Diana listen to me!”

“So you can go on and on about that stupid boy? No thank you. Just admit you like him, Anne!”

“Diana calm down you are acting crazy! I don’t like Gilbert! I told you this at the party, remember?” 

“How can I when I was _wasted_ and instead of watching over me you were with fucking GILBERT!”

“You sound a lot like you did that night except so much angrier, Di! You acted like I was replacing you with Gilbert! You are now!”

“You are, aren’t you? You two are _so_ perfect together you’d make a happy couple.” Her words dripped of sarcasm, and each felt like a punch to the gut. 

“Diana, are my words falling on deaf ears! I am not interested in Gilbert, he is my friend! I am allowed to have other friends aren’t I!?” 

I was slowly getting more and more worked up as the fight continued. About Gilbert Blythe. Why was Diana so insecure when it came to him. Every time his name was mentioned she looked eiter sick, or upset. I didn’t get it. Even at the party she was so distressed thinking Gilbert and I were together, and it’s as if she remembered none of it (I can’t blame her though she was extremely drunk). 

I was trying to calm her down but it was becoming harder and harder. It’s as if she’s jealous of Gilbert, like she’ll be replaced. Diana has to know I’d never do that! We were bosom friends for god’s sake!

“You don’t want to be his friend, you want to be _with_ him.”

“Stop putting words in my mouth!” 

Diana glared at me and I glared right back. Here I thought we’d argue about my big secret and yet here we were, discussing Gilbert. Does Diana want to be with him? Is that it? Is that why she’s acting so derailed?

“Diana please calm down,” I tried, trying to control my confusion and rising anger.

“I will not calm down! You don’t fucking care about me how can I be calm!”

Diana has never sweared so much, it really wasn’t like her. Usually I’m the one who uses dirty language and she tries to get me to stop. 

“What the fuck are you talking about? Of course I care about you, you're my bosom friend!”

“I don’t _want_ to be your bosom friend!” she exclaimed. “I want to be m-”

“Is that what this is about?” I cut her off. I didn’t need to hear her say any more, I was already finding it hard to breathe. “You not wanting to be my friend?”

Diana’s eyes widened comically, as if she couldn’t believe what she said. “No, no that isn’t what I meant.”

“It sounded pretty clear to me. Gilbert is an excuse to just get rid of me, is that it.”

Diana looked close to tears. “No, shit, of course not Anne!”

“Get out.”

Diana looked at me, chocolate eye’s shining. She looked like she was about to faint, but I couldn’t find it in me to care. Diana didn’t want to be my friend. It’s all a lie, a game. After I told her my insecurities of people making fun of me all my life she went and did it. And I was done with it. I didn't need it. When Diana didn’t make any more to leave, I gave her the coldest look I could muster and repeated myself. 

“I said get out”

“Anne-”

“Get. The. Fuck. Out.”

Diana turned her back, and walked slowly out of the stables and after a few minutes passed of her departure, I allowed myself to fall into a ball and cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like each chapter keeps getting worse and worse I'm sorry if it is.


	7. I Will Always Be There For You Just As You Will Always Be There For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted a filler chapter, and something to strengthen Jerry's beautiful relationship with the two most important women in his life.
> 
> Warning: I didn't proof read this. So... Sorry in advance.

_**Jerry’s POV** _

I’m friends with Gilbert Blythe. 

I’m not quite sure how it even happened. One second I was sitting in class, working on the assignment. The next Gilbert gives me his number and says I can call him anytime. 

I’m not even sure that is considered friends. The only person I am confident to call friends in the entire school is Cole, and that’s strictly because of Anne. She thought the two of us would ‘hit it off’ and since she was always out doing who knows what with Diana, we eventually have become close. 

Speaking of Diana, Anne has been in the worst of moods. I haven’t seen her this upset since, well, the orphanage when she found out that I had twisted my ankle due to some cruel joke from some of the other boys. I was even scared of her then. 

Those two idiots clearly have deeper feelings for each other but don’t want to admit it. And now, all I get to hear is how Diana never liked Anne and how Anne’s life is horrible, blah blah blah. 

I admit, I am concerned for my sister. She’s been in dark places before, but this just feels like a little heartbreak. I’m praying that’s all it’s going to be. 

Yet I couldn’t focus much on Anne’s love life because I’ve been so busy with mine. Namely, Ruby. That girl is giving me a headache. 

But I like her. A lot.

And I'm quite confident she has some sort of infatuation with me or else she wouldn’t be pushing me in closets during the free period to make out. 

It’s been going on for a week now. I desperately want to talk to Anne about it, ask her what this means. But i’d rather be alive to find out so she was definitely out. Which is why I found myself standing in front of the kitchen door watching Marilla clean up. I needed advice. And Marilla was the only other woman I knew who could give it to me. 

Doesn’t mean I wasn’t terrified how she’d react. 

It wasn’t like I had any other choice (talking about it with Ruby was out of the question). I really like this girl, but what if she’s just using me for something, and i’m just going along for the ride? I don’t want a relationship where we’re sneaking around to kiss. I want to know Ruby, to show her off to my parents, take her out, cuddle while watching movies. 

And if that meant Marilla having low expectations for me after I tell her, so be it. 

“Please, just spit it out Jerry,” Marilla said snapping me out of my thoughts. 

I looked up and noticed how Marilla was no longer cleaning the kitchen, but standing in front of me with a confused look in her eye. “You have been standing in front of the door for the past 5 minutes. What’s on your mind?”

I felt my face begin to heat and I chuckled awkwardly. Marilla simply raised her eyebrow and stirred me towards the dining room chair. Now as we sat across each other, she folded her hands on the table and patiently waited for me to speak. 

“I’m having girl issues!” I blurted out. 

Marilla recoiled, a small gasp making its way out of her mouth. I winced. I admit, I could’ve started that off better. 

“Are you now?” Is all she replied. 

“I usually go to Anne about these things but she’s…”

“I know,” Marilla replied sadly. “And there is no need to be embarrassed, Jerry. Anne expresses her queries to me all the time about Gilbert this and Diana that. Go on, who’s the girl.”

“Her name is Ruby.” No way in hell I was telling her Ruby’s last name as well. Best if she never knows who exactly i’m talking about. 

“Now, I know what a responsible boy you are, but I don’t want you to feel pressured into… how do you say, umm, doing the deed with this girl.”

I was sure my face was burning red right now, and I just wanted to melt from embarrassment. “NO! Marilla I assure you Ruby and I are _not_ sleeping together!” 

“Oh thank the lord,” she breathed out. “Then what? You two are dating, no?”

“No...”

“I understand now. You like this girl and would like for her to notice you.”

I wordlessly nodded, regretting all of my life choices and wondering why the fuck I went to Marilla for this. I could’ve asked Cole, even Gilbert! He’s known Ruby for a while. But of course Anne mentions how she vents to Marilla about her problems _once_ and I think it’s a good idea to copy her. What have I gotten myself into?

“Very well. Ask her if she likes you. Done”

“It’s a little more complicated than that. I, uh, we’ve kissed.”

Marilla sighed at me, exasperated. “Then clearly she likes you? What’s the issue?”

“We haven’t talked about it and… she acts like it never happens.”

“How many times does it happen?” She raised a confused eyebrow. She really likes that trick. 

“I don’t know,” I replied sheepishly. “At school she pushes me into closets and we just.. Make out.”

I couldn’t decipher Marilla’s expression. She didn’t seem as amused as before. And that’s when...

“Jerry Bernard I raised you better than this! Kissing random girls in closets!”

My almost fell out of my chair when she fucking _yelled_. “Marilla-”

“Don’t you _Marilia_ me! This is unjust. You don’t want to get her pregnant do you?”

“Marilla I assure you all we do is kiss! I just don’t know how to tell her I want to date her! And I don’t know what to do!” I wailed. 

My babyish tone must’ve stopped Marilla from ranting at me even more because she looked at me, stony gaze and all, before her expression changed into a somewhat calmer one. This woman is going to give me whiplash on how quickly she changes emotions. 

“Jerry, if the girl…,” she gulped before stuttering a shaky, “kisses you…. then it means she likes you too. No reason not to do it if she didn’t.”

“But i’m afraid if I open up to her, she’ll laugh,” I replied sadly, glad Marilla was no longer scolding me.

“And why would the young women do that?”

“She might be playing with my emotions Marilla! And by admitting to her that she’s simply beautiful and that I wholehearted like her, she’d be disgusted.”

“Listen here Jerry Bernard.” I sighed, preparing for the lecture again. “If she’s playing with your emotions better to just ask her straightforwardly. And I don’t want a girl like that to be with you either way. That’s just cruel to play with you that way. So when you go to school Monday tell this girl that you like her and that you don’t care if she doesn’t like you back because you are an exceptional young man who deserves better than being toyed with!”

I blinked back the tears threatening to spill and gave Marilla a look of pure adoration. “Yes Marilla,” I replied shakily. 

“Now come here.”

I didn’t have to be asked twice before sitting up and flinging myself into her arms, feeling all the love I’ve never thought I’d ever receive. 

————————

“Anne get down here or else I’m leaving your ass and driving myself to school!” I called from the front door. 

I heard Marilla shout something about my language and I just shrugged impatiently. Anne hasn’t come out of her room since Friday, and now she isn’t even coming down for school. I was restless after my talk with Marilla, wanting to rush to school early to catch Ruby so I could speak with her. Despite the nervousness threatening to eat me up, I kept repeating what Marilla told me in the dining room and I’d feel a bit of calm. 

And of course Anne had to ruin it all by being a dramatic freaking-

“I’m not going!” She screamed back. I groaned. I spared a glance at the clock. I had 2 minutes to convince Anne that her life wasn’t over before having to be on my way. I could do it. 

Running up the stairs, I bolted into Anne’s room, determined to get her out of bed and into that car. That is, until I opened the door. 

“Gah!” I screamed, squinting into the room to make sure I was in the _right room_. Because right now, with clothes thrown around and torn up, papers cluttering the ground, it looked a lot like my room.

It must be really bad. Anne does not like it when my room is messed up. And it looks like a tornado came and demolished hers. 

“You can close your mouth Jerry,” she snapped at me. I finally directed my gaze towards Anne who was sitting in front of her table, eyes swollen and writing furiously on a piece of parchment. 

“What… Why…. How…” I closed my eyes, rehearsed the sentence in my mind, and tried again. “What the fuck happened in here?”

“So dramatic,” she muttered under her breath, knowing it would be loud enough for me to hear. But I knew Anne resulted in insults when she was seriously hurting, and that’s all she’s been doing since I entered. 

“Is this because of what happened with Diana?” I asked softly. 

“No Jerry, that bitch has nothing to do with why my eyes are red and tissues are riddled all about. I don’t owe her a _single fucking tear_.”

I winced at how high her voice cracked. Yup, not a good sign. And in no way could I let Anne go to school looking like this. But then again…. Ruby.

“Anne, Marilla will not let you stay in from school no matter whatever drama is going on between you and Diana. Please just get dressed.”

“Nothing is going on between us! Our friendship is over, if I can even call it that. And just so you know Jerry, I am dressed.” Anne stood up from her seat and sure enough, she was wearing… 

….what the actual fuck was Anne wearing. Dare I say, she looked like a hooker.

She had this lacy black crop top on that could basically be her bra and underneath she had the decency to add a black tank so it covered… somewhat of her exposed belly. Her jeans were exceptionally short and very tight around the edges. And her shoes. Where did she even get black high heel shoes!? She hates high heels! Anne is almost my height and it was throwing me off. Lastly, to top of her look Anne’s hair was straightened flat, cascading down her back. The hair iron discarded on the ground next to her chair. And the makeup...

“Anne where did you get all that!?” I cried. My mouth hung open once more and Anne simply rolled her eyes as if there was something wrong with ME.

“The mall. Thought I’d cut it up and use it for halloween, but it served a better purpose.”

Good, at least now she’s answering me. That has to count for something, right? 

“Do you always resort to slutty makeovers when you're upset? Cause I hate to break it to you but that isn’t really a healthy coping method.”

“Shut up Jerry, you don’t know shit.”

“I _do_ know that you do this,” I waved my hands and motioned to her body. “When you think you’re just going with what people think of you.”

“What if I just wanted to change my look?”

“Into a stripper?”

“Relax I’m barely showing anything.”

“Except for your legs, arms, and a quarter of your stomach. Other than that, nothing,” I added with some sass of my own.

Anne walked towards the back of her bed and pulled out a black leather jacket, smirking at me. 

“You can’t go to school like that Anne, and you know it.”

“We’ll see.”

I walked up to Anne and slapped the hideous monstrosity (aka the jacket) out of her hands and grabbed her hand forcing her down the stairs and into my car. It was a miracle Marilla or Matthew didn’t catch us. She would’ve grounded Anne so hard…

“Jerry I’m not fucking going!” she cried after manhandling her into the passenger seat. 

I rolled my eyes and slammed the door, locking it before she could leave. When Anne tried to unlock it once more, I simply clicked the lock again on the keys until she furiously stopped trying. Slipping in, I started the engine and began the drive to school.

Now I wouldn’t get to see Ruby. I’d even have to run to class in hopes of making it _on time._ At least I get to see the principal scream at Anne for her… outfit choice. It was so out of style for her, and yet, even I couldn’t deny it was somewhat of a good look. But not for _Anne._ I shuttered, imagining the stares she’d get. What I didn’t know is how she figured out how to use the hair straightener. The girl puts her hair in braids for goodness sakes! She is horrible at doing her own hair.

I spared a quick glance at Anne, unsettled by the silence. It wasn’t like her to not voice her opinions when she was angry. I almost swerve the car, seeing her eyes welling up with tears. Anne looked at me in shock after I almost killed us, and furiously began blinking her tears away before they could fall (and ruin all that makeup).

“What!?” she snapped, sounding more like a whine.

“Anne, I-”

“Whatever Jerry. Just fucking drive.”

And so I did. 

_**Anne’s POV** _

My eyes opened lazily, a yawn escaping. I raised my arms out and stretched, hearing a satisfying snap before hitting the window. I bolted upright, but then remembered where I was. I grabbed my phone from my pocket, ignoring the notification of Marilla and Matthew’s missed calls. Glancing at the time, I groaned. 

“Jerry we’ve been driving for an hour, where are we going!” I grumbled.

“We’re almost there, only a few more minutes.”

“We’ve been in Avonlea for a few months! Have you memorized the map of the entire province or some shit.”

“I plugged it into the GPS now can you shut up and be patient!”

I paused for a slight second, pondering where Jerry might be taking me. I start crying and this kid is ready to go out of town for me. Sheesh

“You realized the Cuthbert’s are going to kill us when we get home right?”

“It’ll be worth it, trust me.”

“How can I trust you when you won’t even tell me where we’re headed!?”

“I try doing something good to help you and you scream at me!” 

“Should I be thanking you for driving us to the literal middle of nowhere!”

“Stop being so overdramatic Anne. There are cars and stores all around us. And because you are so impatient, I thought instead of going to school where all we are is made fun of, we could take a day off.”

I ducked my head down to hide the faint smile threatening to come out. I thought all Jerry cared about was seeing Ruby and fucking her in the closet. Those two idiots think no one knows what they do with free period. “And where is this day off leading us?”

Jerry parked the car in front of a wide building. Looking at the sign, my small smile grew into a grin. I got out of the car, grateful that the jerk didn’t lock it right after, and skipped towards the entrance Jerry trailing behind me.

“Jerry you… I….”

“I think the words you are looking for are thank you.” 

Instead, I threw my arms around his shoulders and gave him a huge squeeze. “How did you know I’ve always wanted to go?” I asked him softly, speaking into his fluffy hair. 

“You mentioned it in the orphanage once. Thought I’d take you for a birthday or something but it seemed fitting considering…” He trailed off, but I knew what he meant. Considering I’ve been a, well, bitch. Even after all my pestering and name calling Jerry still didn’t want to hurt my feelings. 

“Well then what are we doing out here!” I cried happily. 

I tried jumping up and down in glee, when realizing I was still wearing heels. I looked down, and scowled at my get up. For some reason wanting to look like a floozy is what I do when upset. It was still a good look. I pulled off the dark vibe perfectly, despite what Jerry might say. 

We paid for our tickets (ignoring all the people looking at me for my outfit choice. I looked stunning), getting the stay for an entire hour. I couldn’t even care that my makeup was definitely going to smug. I was feeling on top of the world. 

I kept squealing the closer we got to the park, throwing my shoes into the lockers and grabbing Jerry’s hand pulling us towards the trampolines. 

Ever since one of my foster houses let me jump on a trampoline, I’d gotten an addiction to it. Feeling the wind around me, trying to do flips and tricks. It felt so freeing, but I never got a chance to do it after that one time. The family was going to send me back to the orphanage the next day and thought it would be a nice reward to get a few jumps on their _highly expensive trampoline_. I told Jerry about how I wished to fly again, but I never thought he heard me. People tend to tune out when I ramble or tell stories. I should’ve given my dear brother more credit. 

The first thing the two of us did was go to the ball pits. I practically jumped out of my skin in anticipation, waiting in line. Jerry kept rolling my eyes and I could feel people wondering why a 16 year old girl is jumping around for a ball pit, but I couldn’t find it in me to care about the judgmental glances. Jerry and I approached together, both of us on the trampolines beside each other. I did a front flip inside, laughing all the way while Jerry did a very horrible swan dive. I couldn’t stop laughing, knowing he did it just for the sake to see me smile. 

After a few hundred more rounds, he led me towards the obstacle course. It had three rows, each one more difficult than the next. I went to the second one and Jerry the third. We fell down countless times, but it just added to the fun. 

“How did you know about this place?” I asked him while we sat on a bench, both trying to catch our breaths. 

“Cole mentioned it to me once, and I knew how much you wanted to go so I was planning on taking you for your birthday,” he replied nonchalantly. I gave Jerry the most grateful look I could muster, but he ducked his head, embarrassed to be caught caring for me. I just snickered.

“You know, you’re an amazing brother, Jerry.”

“You’re just saying that because I took you here,” he replied cockily. 

Laughing, I turned my body to give him a hard look. “I’m serious, Jerry. You… you’ve always been there for me through thick and thin. You’re the one person I could always count on to be there for me even when I’m a complete utter bitch to you.”

“You aren’t a bitch to me, Anne.”

“Please. I know how I acted today, but despite that you drove me out here just to make me happy after you saw how distraught I was. I know I don’t deserve it, and I know I’m not the most ideal sister but thank you.”

Jerry turned to look at me too, grabbing my hands into his. “Believe me when I say Anne, I would **never** want a different sister. You don’t give yourself any credit but you’ve helped me more times than I can count. We’re both there for each other, there is no better sibling. I will always be there for you just as you will always be there for me.”

My eyes began tearing up but I didn’t even try to blink them away, knowing the sweat from all the jumping had my makeup smudged anyways. 

“I love you so much Jerry.”

I wanted to say more. Tell him that today I when I was feeling utterly broken, he picked up the pieces and made me as whole as he can. That he actually managed to make me _happy_. An emotion I haven't felt since that one night with Diana but this... this was more than that. That lasted a second. This has lasted the moment I saw the sign when we pulled into the parking lot. Somehow, Jerry knew. He knew what I was feeling with that little knowing smirk of his imprinted on his face. I wordlessly wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed, feeling his arms come around my waist. I heard him mumble into my neck that he loves me too and I just wanted to stay in that perfect moment with the most important person in my life forever. 

And I really wanted to go back to that moment when Marilla and Matthew started screaming and yelling at us once we found our way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed more Anne and Jerry scenes in AWAE. They're one of my favourite duo's in the show.


	8. The (not so) Slutty Siblings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I recently re-read this story and realized the 'dirty' words have started becoming scene more and more throughout the chapters and Anne speaks of them the most. The style I gave Anne and Jerry really differed (in my eyes) from what I wrote in the first 2-3 chapters so I'm going to try to change it back to the way it was before, at a very slow pace. After all, Anne's "bitching" so much because she is hurting. 
> 
> And btw Anne wasn't really dressed like a slut. The Cuthbert's are just very dramatic. 
> 
> I have stalled the past 2 chapters from Diana and Anne meeting again after the dramatic argument. So here it is. Also, Jerry and Ruby sort out some things.

_**Matthew’s POV** _

“You had us worried SICK!” I cried, combing my hand through my hair. Anne and Jerry just looked at each other and back at us, their faces didn’t even look remorseful.

“Sorry,” is all the redhead said while Jerry just nodded, face scrunched up tightly. 

“That’s all you have to say!” Marilla shouted. “ _Sorry!_. You skipped school, didn’t tell us where you were, and came back at this ungodly hour!”

“It’s only 8:00 Marilla,” Anne countered. 

“Do not speak back to me young lady. The two of you go upstairs. No dinner for the night and you are grounded!”

I could tell Jerry was about to protest, but I grabbed Marilla’s hand gently and guided her into the kitchen, signaling for the kids that this discussion was over. Marilla and I stood in the kitchen next to the table, waiting until we heard both doors close before speaking.

“They didn’t even think to call,” Marilla said softly. I wrapped my arm around my sister's side, replying with a quote ‘I know.’

“We‘ll talk to them in the morning okay?”

“After school.” Marilla countered. “They cannot late again.”

I nodded, and after realizing that was the end of our conversation I headed up the stairs and went into my room. As I passed Anne’s, I heard some voices whispering. Curious, I stood next to the door and listened in. 

“They’re so mad,” I heard Jerry mumble. 

“We should’ve called. I’m sorry you’re in trouble because of me,” Anne replies. “Is it weird if I don’t regret what we did?”

“No. I don’t regret it either. I would’ve never let you go to school dressed like _that_ either way.”

“I still took loads of pictures, Jerry. And I’m still going to dress that way tomorrow.”

“Do you want the Cuthbert’s to kill you!?” 

“No. It’s just… it’s easier to hide your feelings when you’re wearing a disguise.”

I ducked my head. Anne really was hurting, more than Marilla and I originally thought. My heart yearned for my daughter. Anne was simply too young to have to deal with everything she did. Society really is unjust.

“Well then, I’ll wear a disguise with you.”

“Jerry-“

“If you wanna dress like a slut, I’ll dress like one too. We do things together, remember?” 

I heard a sniffle, but I wasn’t sure who’s it was. Also, what is a slut? Must be some new slang words (although I don't really know what slang means either...).

“Ruby would love that.” A pause. “The two of you aren’t as discreet as you may think.”

I couldn’t really hear anything else, the voices were already so quiet I was shocked I was able to decipher so much. But this wasn’t right. It was a private conversation. I turned around and walked into my room but not before hearing a soft “You made me so happy today Jerry.”

My eyes widened comically. _Happy!?_ Anne said she was happy! I wanted to scream in joy. Instead, I smiled so widely when I went into my room and laughed quietly to myself. 

She felt happy. 

_**Anne's POV** _

The dreaded day has come. Again.

Marilla and Matthew didn't trust us to actually go to school on our own, so he told us to get some friends to drive us because they had to go do some work in town. Marilla said that if she got a call we weren't in school or even that we were _late_ hell would break loose in the Bernard-Shirley-Cuthbert residence. There was only one issue.

I only had one other friend besides The Girl Who Shall Not Be Named. And that's Cole. Who, by the way, can't drive. He lives close enough to walk every morning. I debated whether or not to call Ruby, the only girl who actually listens to me even though she looks like she rather do anything else. But Jerry said he'd rather get inflicted with our parent's wrath. So only one option was left. 

Gilbert Blythe.

I considered us friends, although I was concerned the atmosphere between us will become dense ever since I shot him down. Yet Jerry and I didn't have a choice in the matter. Jerry has already called Gilbert and he said he'd arrive in 5 minutes. I wasn't sure what to think of it, him being the reason The Girl Who Shall Not Be Named and I had a falling out. Well, his name is the reason. She was just so mad, I couldn't understand it. Why would she mention Gilbert and I every time he's mentioned in a conversation and even fight with me about him? Yeah, he was an excuse for her to let me down easy. She not wanting to be my friend unmistakeably felt as if a knife was being stabbed into my frail body. I expected her to leave, they always do. But I did _not_ expect to be in so much agony after the chocolate eyes beauty was gone. Not even three weeks our friendship lasted. 

I sat down in my room, looking at the time. 3 more minutes until Gilbert was to arrive. I cried over the loss of her for so long, I physically couldn't do it anymore. I didn't think I could ever cry again in my life. There was nothing left inside me except a broken heart and years of PTSD. 

2 minutes. 

I looked to my left at Jerry who was still struggling to put on a pair of skinny jeans. He really was serious when he told me that we'd both wear a disguise. But watching him struggle was better than anything I could've hoped for. 

"Jerry take those off and go wear some proper clothes, this is getting ridiculous."

He simply huffed in frustration and fell down on my bed. "Are you going to take off that tight black top and the leather?"

"Hey! It goes up to my fucking knees Jerry! It isn't even short!"

"Answer the question," he deadpanned.

I gave him a look, which gave him his answer. "At least wear some proper jeans. I don't want you to suffocate in those after all."

"So nice you care for my well being."

Still, Jerry listened and discarded the hideous monstrosity and escaped into his room. I checked the clock. 40 seconds and Gilbert is said to arrive. I called out for Jerry to change quickly and grabbed my backpack at the side of my desk. My eyes caught my makeup palette, and I walked towards it slowly, bag on my shoulder. I looked at all the colours for a moment and closed it up putting the box inside my drawer. I heard a car beep from outside and a new notification popped up on my phone. Gilbert was here. 

I ran down the stairs as I heard Jerry finally come out of his room and walked over to Gilbert's black jeep, Jerry trailing behind me. I didn't notice Gilbert's gaze going up and down my body and his face gain a hint of colour. I was too busy trying to open the back door to the jeep. I hopped in and slammed it.

"Nice jeep," I said trying not to express how nervous I was to head to school. Gilbert just nodded a little frantically, and when Jerry entered the car he started the engine as we began the drive. 

"You two really went all out for a regular old Wednesday," Gilbert said breaking the silence. 

"Wanted to try something new," my brother answered. 

"Just as you did yesterday huh?"

I leaned back. I was wondering when Jerry would learn what I did, but I guess Gilbert was going to be the one to tell him. I smiled menacingly to myself.

"What... What do you mean?" 

"The pictures on Instagram. Anne posted some of the two of you."

Jerry turned to me and I tried not to enjoy his frantic expression as much as I did. "You did what!" 

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Didn't see the big deal."

"Anne," he groaned.

"In all fairness Jerry, you said you were glad no one from school would see what I wore. And I obviously had to contradict you. So it's more your fault than mine."

"MY fault! Anne you dressed all... revealing-ly. The entire school probably saw them."

Gilbert choose this moment to pop back into the conversation, probably enjoying the argument between us. He really wished he had a sibling sometimes.

"Don't worry Jerry. Only the kids who know Anne saw it, and let me tell you there were no complaints going on that's for sure."

Jerry just groaned even louder, leaning back on the chair with his hands covering his face. Gilbert and I laughed at his misery. I guess I didn't give _people_ much credit. Gilbert and I weren't awkward. Not at all. Now that we were sure where the two of us stood, it seemed like the tension between us is gone. We were free to just be good friends.

***

Jerry and I walked into school together, and I swear every eye seemed to be on us. Instead of skinny jeans, Jerry wore these baggy black jeans and a short-sleeved shirt (a little on the tight side). Just because he's my brother doesn't mean I can't appreciate him not dressing like a slob as usual. He looked normal, to be quite honest. Not too dressed up. Although, the way Ruby clearly checked him out as we walked past her on the way to our lockers did not go unnoticed. I smirked at Jerry, and he just whispered for me to shut up.

Gilbert walked me all the way to my locker. Even though his was next to Jerry's, he just kept going with me. I wasn't sure how to feel about that. I made myself quite clear at the party. I wasn't someone who _wasn't_ blunt after all.

"You do look really nice today Anne," Gilbert started off. Oh god. I knew we were going to have some kind of talk. I guess it was a good thing school started in 10 minutes. We were exceptionally early today. 

"But..." I asked.

"But, uh, it's not really suited for a regular school day, you know?" he replied cheekily. He rubbed his hand at the back of his neck, indicating he was nervous. Or uncomfortable.

"Gilbert you can't tell me what I can and can't wear," I replied crossing my arms over my chest. 

He raised his hands up. "No, I'm not. It just isn't really you, Anne. And you're going to get a lot of attention with that. I hope you know that not all those people looked at those pictures of you with clear intentions."

"Gilbert..." I reached for his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I can protect myself, trust me."

_And this is me. Just not the me I dress like in this town._ I actually really liked my outfit. 

He mutely nodded and made a hastily retreat. I sighed, watching him go. Turning around, I grabbed the components I needed for my class and closed it, leaning against the wall. I closed my eyes, leaned my head back, and got lost in my own imagination. There I was, Princess Cordelia. I sighed happily, as Cordelia started spinning around, dancing graciously in a field full of tulips. The flowing, white dress that was cascading all the way down to my feet. Barefoot on the grass, I span around as the music took over my body. Yellow butterflies were circling around me, following my movements. 

Then I saw them. My prince. 

They were at the other end of the field, the distance covering up their face. My mysterious prince was wearing white as well. Stunning, even from a distance. I took a step forwards, twirling my way towards them until we were standing right in front of each other. My prince's face was half-hidden from the illumination of the sun. As they turned, I saw the chocolate brown eyes first. And then my name being called in a whisper. 

"Anne," they said softly. I smiled and went to hug my dear prince. I was so eager to see them, but the voice kept getting louder, and louder, and louder.

"Anne!!" 

I jolted awake, looking around at my surroundings. The field of tulips was gone, lockers replaced the butterflies, and instead of my prince standing before me, it was-

"Diana?" I said softly, my voice betraying the emotions that found their way back up after I spend days pushing them down. 

She was crouched in front of me, a worried crease on her forehead. How I desperately wanted to lean up and kiss it away. I pushed that thought away, and turned my gaze into a cool, calculating one instead. Her face was so close, her eyes so full of uncertainty. I got up and dusted myself off, trying to fill some space between me and her. 

"What do you want?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. Diana wasn't looking at my face though. She was looking at my outfit.

I self continuously folded my arms over my stomach, feeling oddly exposed to Diana's piercing gaze. I didn't make the same mistake as last time and wear something revealing. All I had was a black turtleneck that was tucked into my long skirt and a black leather jacket. Paired with some platform boots, of course. It wasn't as different from what I wore from my old school, but Marilla said it wouldn't be smart to dress that way. People _talk_ after all. And you don't want to be the center of attention.

But to this town, I might as well been wearing a bathing suit to school. 

"Hello?" I snapped, causing the girl to lift her eyes back to mine again. Somehow, eye contact just made everything 10 times more intense.

"Uh, sorry. It's just, class starts in a few minutes and you were sleeping. Didn't want you to be late," she said quietly, almost shy.

"Since when did you care."

She gave me one of her piercing looks again. "I've always cared."

"If you care so much about me, then you'll honour my wishes by leaving me the hell alone," I snarled. 

Diana looked like she was just slapped. She looked down and started walking away again. "If that... if that's what you need then okay." My heart seized for her. She looked heartbroken. But that didn't excuse what she said. At least, that's what I told myself to prevent me from hugging her. I turned around and started walking the opposite way when I heard her call out my name.

"You look lovely today. Don't let anyone in this futile town convince you otherwise."

***

_**Jerry's POV** _

"I need to talk to you," I breathed out. 

The girl simply nodded and reconnected our lips once again. I sighed into the kiss, hands tightening on Ruby's waist. Despite what many people thought, we've never went past kissing. I would never do that, and I knew Ruby wouldn't either. Still, I forced myself to concentrate and slowly pushed the girl away, softly enough not to hurt her. I met her eyes and gave her a serious look. 

"Please, Ruby," I added. "I need to ask you something."

Ruby looked at me with a mixture of hurt and resignation. She took another step back from me and blinked rapidly. 

"You want to end this, don't you?" she asked. I cursed internally. 

"No no no of course not Ruby! At least, not in that specific _way._ But I do want to end all this closet business."

"Sounds like ending it to me," she sniffled. I tried taking another step forwards. I had the intense urge to comfort her, reassure her everything was okay. Still, I couldn't believe she didn't want this to end. But maybe... maybe she just liked kissing me. Maybe she didn't want to actually _date_ me. Ruby simply took a step backward, heading towards the door. I panicked. This wasn't going the way I wanted it to. I was going to tell her how I felt, ask her on a date, and cry in my pillow after I get home when she said no.

"I don't want to make out in closets with you Ruby!" I said exasperatedly. My mouth was moving too quickly for my brain to catch up. I was just going with instinct now, throwing rational thinking out into the wind.

"You've made that abundantly clear, thank you very much," she snapped. I was shocked by the amount of venom in her tone. "You don't need to fucking spell it out for me Jerry. I'm not enough for you. Got it."

She reached for the handle and I just opened my mouth, trying to come up with something that would make her understand. 

"I want to hold your hand when we walk around school!" I cried. She stopped but didn't turn around. I took that as a sign to continue. "I want to take you out on dates and go see a ridiculous movie together. I want to introduce you to my parents and talk to you about _real_ stuff. I want to know what your favourite food is, what your favourite colour is, what you like and dislike. I just want **you**."

I closed my eyes and waited. Waited to hear the door open and for her to slip out, waiting to hear her laugh, waiting to hear her reject me. But none of that happened. Not even close.

We ended up missing a little of the third period. But I didn't regret it. After all, I had a smile on my face and a girlfriend who was mine.

I laughed giddily. 

A girlfriend.

_**Matthew’s POV** _

I asked Marilla what a 'slut' was. 

Marilla didn't find the whole ordeal as amusing as I had.

I had to admit, I felt a little bad for the children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am determined to finish this for all my lovely readers. This is my first ever fic as you all know, and I don't know how many reads are considered popular but 500 to me is insane. And I can't remember the number of kudos right now and I'm too lazy to literally click two buttons to check but it's something about 20 I think. So thank you.
> 
> Also please give me feedback if you can.


	9. Spin The Bottle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The class plays spin the bottle during recess. Things happen.
> 
> This chapter is so short and I haven't posted in over a month I'm so sorry!

_**Diana’s POV** _

It should be Teacher 101 than you don’t leave children alone in a classroom, even for recess. 

And it should be Basic Rules of Life 101 when Josie Pye asks the class to play a game you say _no_.

And yet here I am. With no teacher in the classroom and in a circle at the back of the room about to play spin the freaking bottle. 

I didn’t have any intensions to play, none whatsoever. But then Tillie went and joined Josie Pye on the floor. Then Billy, Jane, Ruby, Moody, even _Gilbert_. Anne, Cole, and Jerry soon after, and then a few other students. I was the only one still sitting in my seat when I reluctantly decided to join the ‘fun.’ I don’t even want to know why Josie Pye has a bottle at school. I didn’t want to know either.

It isn’t as if I despise playing games. It’s just when the game is hosted by the one and only Josie, something is always bound to happen. Last summer we played 2 truths and 1 lie. 2 people ran out of Josie Pye’s house in tears. What really worried me was the way Josie had a certain glint in her eye when Anne joined the floor. Leaving me to believe there was some ulterior motive. It wasn’t as if I could warn Anne about it because, well, we were no longer friends. 

If only the girl would not interrupt people! Yet, sometimes I feel glad she did. Then I wouldn’t have to suffer through rejection. Then I squash those feelings down and sadness takes hold of me once more. 

It has been even harder to avoid Anne when she started dressing like a supermodel every day. Seeing her in the hall sleeping peacefully looking like god themselves sent her down here did not help my goal to squash all the feelings I had of her. It was never going to happen. Yet I can’t stop thinking about it!

“Okay!” Josie Pye cried in obvious false cheer. “Who’s going to go first.”

She gave everyone a thorough look, daring someone to come forwards. She held Anne’s gaze for a long time before giving a small smirk, and I knew what she was going to say before she said it. Luckily, I wasn’t the only one paying attention. 

“I’ll go,” Jerry blurted out. Everyone turned to look at him, and he just reached for the bottle blushing hard. Anne gave his arm a grateful squeeze, Josie Pye snickering. I spared a glance at Ruby. She doesn’t seem to be one to be okay with her boyfriend kissing someone else. Which she didn’t. She looked ready to kill someone, and for sweet Ruby that was tough. 

Jerry took a deep breath, and spun the bottle. 

Everyone held their breaths in anticipation, and even I was leaning forwards, captivated. It was, dare I say, exciting, waiting for the spinning to stop. And then, after what felt like forever, it did. 

Ruby literally gasped, and Jerry gulped. 

It landed on Tillie.

She stood up slowly as if any second Ruby was going to push her to the ground. Their kiss was short. It was more like a peck honestly, but I had to admit if it was my boyfriend (or girlfriend) who had to kiss someone else even for a game, I would be pissed too. The game just started to seem like an even worse idea.

A few tense seconds lasted after the kiss, everyone just looking at each other uncomfortably. And then Tillie grabbed the bottle and span it again. 

It went on for a few minutes. Tillie had to kiss Charlie, and then Charlie kissed Jane. Somehow, the bottle hadn’t landed on me or Anne yet and I was grateful. I didn’t want my first kiss to be for a petty game with someone I didn’t even like (read: someone who wasn’t Anne). 

When it was Josie Pye’s turn to spin, the unthinkable happened. Everyone was joking around, the tense atmosphere from the beginning of the game evaporated and people began teasing one another. 

When it landed, the whole room stopped buzzing. People stopped talking and they all looked at Josie uncomfortably. 

The bottle had landed on Anne. 

Even Josie Pye’s expression was one of shock, looking up at Anne with wide eyes. I couldn’t move. I was frozen, my eyes dancing between each girl in horror. And then someone finally spoke. 

“Ugh, doesn’t count,” Billy scoffed.

Josie turned her gaze on him, eyes narrowing. “And why not?”

“It’s two girls!” he said as if it were obvious. “So it doesn’t count. Just spin it again.”

Everyone turned their gaze on Anne uncomfortably, her bisexuality known to the entire freaking town. No one said anything to defend her. Jerry seemed shocked into silence and Cole, the only other person close to Anne, was fuming with anger but also seemed to turn suddenly mute. Billy picked up the bottle and handed it to Josie Pye, as if he didn’t just insult Anne in the highest degree. 

I looked at her and my heart broke. She looked close to tears, face turned down to avoid all the stares. I wiled my mouth to open, for words to come out. For anything to come out. And then…

And then Josie Pye slapped Billy square on the cheek with a loud smack.

Everyone gasped, and Billy held the side of his cheek that was already turning a horrible shade of red. 

“Shut the fuck up Billy,” she hissed. 

Oddly enough, he did. He looked shocked, like the rest of the class. Josie stood up and walked towards Anne, pulling her up as well. Anne gave Josie a confused frown, and then Josie, well…

Josie Pye kissed Anne soundly on the lips.


	10. All I Felt Was Gut-Wrenching Agony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so... Anne and Josie Pye are the latest hot gossip topic.
> 
> And then shit happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full discloser updating this chapter took so long cause I had no idea what to freaking put. Like, none whatsoever. Zero. zip. Nada. 
> 
> Therefore it probably sucks and is all over the place.

**Anne’s POV**

What was wrong with this town?

Sure, Josie and I kissed. And it was… surprisingly good. She was a really good kisser, something I would never utter to a single soul as long as I live. Still, I never thought Josie would be one to stick up for me that way. Especially to Billy. I always thought she had a crush on him (for reasons I am unsure of), but now she doesn’t even spare him the time of day. Everyone sort of distanced themselves from Billy. It was marvelous.

What I hated was what everything thought. All the rumors and the stares. 

_Did you hear Josie Pye kissed that orphan girl?_

_They’re definitely banging. Why else would Josie ruin her reputation for her?_

_Did you hear that Anne and Josie Pye are in a secret relationship?_

It was torture. Josie Pye just walked down the halls confidently, glaring at anyone who dared mention her name and mine in a sentence. I wasn’t as confident. 

It didn’t make any fucking sense though. Tillie and Jerry kissed, Charlie and Jane kissed. No one was making a big deal out of it. Everyone just batted their eyelashes and fucking forgot. Yet when two girls do the same, controversy begins. 

I don’t even understand how these rumors came to be. Josie and I didn’t treat each other any differently. We still despised each other, didn’t give each other the time of day. It was a harmless fucking kiss... And yet. 

There was truthfully nothing left for me at this school anyway. The students either hate me or are disgusted by me, the parents all have some kind of opinion of me by the way I dress, act, or just _am_. And my best friend, the only person who made everything I had to endure so far fucking worth it, didn’t even like me. I’m kind of disappointed she didn’t try to approach me after the encounter in the halls that day. 

I just miss her. And I suppose she deserves a chance to explain, although she made it crystal clear that day in the barns. Still, I desperately wanted there to be an explanation good enough to explain why she said what she did so we could become friends again. I didn’t fucking care at this point. Diana was the only one who… who made me genuinely happy constantly throughout the day. Every time I was in her presence. 

I miss the raven eyed beauty so much it hurt. 

It was simple really. Diana was sitting at the other end of the lunch table. During our fight, everyone that sat with us at lunch noticed how we weren’t attached to the hip anymore, yet didn’t ask any questions. I could tell Josie Pye wanted to, and I am unsure why she hasn’t just demanded answers like she always did. I was equally surprised that they didn’t kick me out of the lunch table. I still sat next to Ruby (and she still ignored me), but the empty space next to me was always there. Taunting me. A sign that Diana and I were just not meant to be, in more ways than one. 

All I had to do was open my mouth, and ask to talk to her. I looked up from my untouched plate of food and snuck a quick glance at Diana. I almost flinched in shock when I saw her gaze already set on mine. Her eyes widened when she realized she was caught. Yet her gaze was unwavering. Those chocolate brown eyes felt as if they were staring into my very soul. 

_Say it Anne. Now’s your chance._

Too bad I was too much of a coward. Instead, I abruptly stood up from my chair, ignoring the looks the girls were giving me. I threw my food out in the trash and bolted out of the cafeteria. Before I left, I gave into temptation and looked back behind me to see Diana’s sullen face. Her eyes were closed tight as if she was holding back tears. 

I stopped. 

All of I sudden, all I wanted to do was go back to that table, grab her cheeks, and give her a ravishing kiss. A hug. Fuck it, even a smile. Diana fighting back tears was not something I was ready to face. During our fight, all I cared about was how mad I was to pay her tears any attention. Or her sadness. Or how she might be feeling.

But now imagining Diana being distraught because of me to the point of crying was something I couldn’t handle. I didn’t care that I was supposed to be mad at her. I didn’t care she didn’t want to be my friend. I didn’t care that these past couple of days have been their own kind of hell. 

Yet allowing such a beautiful, kindred spirit to cry because I didn’t acquire the balls to even say a ‘hello’ broke me. 

Maybe this entire time she didn’t mean it.

Maybe something got lost in context.

Maybe Diana didn’t hate me. I mean, why else would she be upset?

I snapped out of my spiraling thoughts and felt a set of eyes on me, and looked up to catch her gaze once more. Instead of simply turning away, I mustered out a small smile and disappeared into the corridor. 

**Diana’s POV**

No… this couldn’t be happening. 

One second I was sleeping peacefully in my room, and the next father is telling us to grab our coats. I could barely hear him telling us what was going on, the same thought running round and round in my head.

The Gillis house was on fire. 

Ruby… I couldn’t imagine if anything happened to her. Was she okay? Is she trapped in the fire? What of her family, are they out too?

The fire truck apparently broke down on its way over to their house, something I would have screamed about before. All I felt was now was a numb ache.

We got to their house and there were already countless people helping get the fire extinguished. There was so much of it. 

I spotted Anne and was about to run up to her before stopping halfway. Anne and I weren’t friends anymore. I wasn’t _allowed_ to hug her and hold her. To ask her if she was okay.

I spotted Ruby and the rest of the family near the corner, all covered in soot and blankets, the baby’s cries being carried in the wind. Jerry was hugging Ruby, probably whispering comforting words to help stop the poor girl from shaking.

I turned towards Anne again, and suddenly she was running. No one else noticed a small figure hurtling through the night. The fire was the main concern after all. I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering what she was doing. She grabbed something, I couldn’t quite see what it was. 

“Anne!?” I heard myself calling out, confusion evident in my voice.

I wasn't sure if she ignored me or simply didn't hear me. And then she started running towards the house. 

My eyes widened and fear suddenly consumed me. 

“No!” I screamed, voice still horse from sleep. “Anne!” 

She opened the door.

“ANNE!” I paused, trying to collect my voice. “ANNE!” 

But she was gone; went inside. I kept screaming, for some reason my feet weren’t moving. To anyone watching me they probably thought I looked like a mad man. Like I lost it. But for once in my goddamn life, I didn’t care. Anne was in there. My Anne…

At one point my mother noticed my constant gut-wrenching screeches and came towards me, Marilla in tow. 

“What is it?” Marilla asked with wide eyes. She’s only ever seen me composed, calm. My mother came towards my side and took my hand. 

“It’s Anne!” I sobbed.

I fell onto my mother, my body too shaken to stand on its own. The tears were running freely now, my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

“What happened to Anne?” Marilla exclaimed, looking towards where I pointed moments ago. The burning house.

“She… she ran inside!” I cried. I pushed myself away from my mother. She ran inside and I did nothing. I let it happen. I tried to tear my hand out of hers but her grip stayed. As if she already knew what I was thinking. “Let me go!” I shouted at her. “I need to get Anne!” I heard Marilla saying something similar to me, both of us trying to get out of the other women’s hold and race into the building.

Mother finally let me go after making sure I wasn't about to bolt to help them contain Marilla. I just stared at the burning house. Panic and fear freezing me where I stood. Even after we saw a figure run down the window, the fear just intensified. I was hoping, maybe someone got her out of there. 

A minute passed. And another. Soon everyone stood on opposite sides, praying or doing whatever else. I didn’t move a muscle. I couldn’t.

What if Anne died in there? Why did she go inside in the first place? The most selfish thought I had was what I would do without her. 

***

Marilla spotted her first. She cried out and started running, everyone suddenly followed the women probably intending to stop her. But then we all saw her too, stumbling towards us. I sprinted after Marilla and stopped when I saw the women squeeze her in a ginormous bear hug.

I hung a little to the left, fingers twitching with the need to hug the auburn-haired girl once more and never let her go. I vaguely registered Jerry and Cole joining the huddle and giving Anne hugs, barely registered Marilla asking Anne what she was thinking, running into the fire. The amount of relief that flooded me was too much. 

Apparently, Anne slowed the fire, and everyone was in awe. Everyone was praising her, asking how she knew what to do. All I wanted to know is why she thought it was worth risking her life to save a fucking _house._

***

Two more days have passed since the fire, and they decided to open up the school again. After all, education was important. I never got a chance to talk to Anne afterward, yet I wasn’t sure what I would even say.

Morning came much faster than anticipated that day. The Gillis family was divided into separate houses, and Ruby made such a fuss being placed with the Cuthbert’s. I thought she’d be rather glad to be able to stay in a house with her boyfriend, but we all knew the reason she was so wary. She should be more grateful. Anne basically saved her house! 

I guess no matter what Anne did no one would ever like her. Because she was either different, dressed funny, was an orphan, or was bisexual. 

And I would not let Anne believe I was one of those people, not anymore. I didn’t care about rejection anymore. She was Anne. Even if she didn’t feel the same she wouldn’t hate me for it. And I rather we had a real reason for our friendship ending than one as silly as a misunderstanding. 

I was going to do it. Because if I learned anything from the last couple of days, it’s that I needed my best friend back. More than anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so I was planning on having Anne get serious burns and end up in the hospital. Then that wasn't what happened.
> 
> Also I was watching this scene (the one in Diana's POV obviously) and was going to follow it frame by frame, word by word. And I was planning on Diana to give Anne that hug and say "I think you're marvelous and brave." And yay! A little peace offering.  
> Then I decided not to, and I was so paranoid trying to make that scene somewhat similar to the one in the show...
> 
> Then I realized it's my fucking story and I could put whatever the hell I wanted.


	11. Unusual Friendships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People are shocked by Anne and Ruby's new friendship
> 
> and
> 
> Diana gets some advice from a friend

**Diana’s POV**

“Oh and yesterday, Anne and I -“

I tuned out the chipper girl and scowled, moving my food around with my fork, appetite gone. Ever since Ruby was placed in the Cuthbert’s house, she and Anne had gotten surprisingly close. 

And I was _not_ bitter about it. Not in the slightest. Not at all. 

But Ruby has not stopped going on and on about their adventures, Anne smiling goofily at the blonde and adding in a few pointers to the stories. I couldn’t be that mad, Anne looked so glad to finally have someone who took her seriously. To have another friend after I, well, left her. 

Everyone was enraptured with the tales Ruby discussed. Not all was about Anne, some were even about a few moments she had with Jerry. Anne’s face portraying a foul expression as she talked about her brother. No one interrupted or dismissed Ruby. Ever since the fire, the light that she usually had with her started to fizzle out. So not a single one of us was going to take any more of that away from her. 

Even if it was hard to hear. 

Anne confuses me. Too much. One moment she leaves the cafeteria after simply looking at me, the next she smiles before leaving. That smile… gosh I couldn’t stop thinking about what it might entail. 

Then she goes running into a godforsaken fire. 

I got the sudden urge to just get up and leave, and so when Ruby’s latest story about how she went riding with Jerry and landed face-first on the ground was over, I quietly excused myself and made a retreat from the lunchroom. If Anne could do it, so can I after all.

Yet the blue-eyed beauty didn’t even spare me a glance when I left. I told myself not to let it bother me. I turned the corner as fast as I possibly could, not wanted to see any more of her…

… And collided right into someone turning the opposite direction. 

“Oh my, I am _so_ sorry!” I told the unlucky soul. 

“It’s not a problem Diana, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

I snapped my gaze up, recognizing the voice instantly. When Gilbert saw my shocked expression he gave me a little awkward smile, and I couldn't help it. I broke. 

“Diana!” he cried in surprise when he saw the first tear slowly fall down my cheek. “I didn’t bump into you that hard did I? I am so sorry, should I get the nurse?”

I shook my head, trying to calm myself down and take deep breaths while signaling to Gilbert that I was fine. Still, the boy looked around in a panic, unsure what to do. He didn’t know how to handle tears. No one was passing by the halls, everyone probably already in the lunchroom or outside enjoying the fresh air.

“I’m fine Gilbert,” I sniffled. “Go on, I’ll be fine.” 

Gilbert looked back at me, his confused expression changing into a softer one. 

“Diana you clearly aren’t. Would you… uh… like to talk about it.”

Talk about Anne with Gilbert? I almost laughed at the absurdity. Before I could voice my opinion, Gilbert gently grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the exit, and I found myself not pulling much of a fight. I don’t know what came over me, Gilbert was the last person I wanted to confide in. Actually, Josie Pye would probably be the last. She’d probably laugh at my face and tell the entire school in less than an hour. 

Once we were outside, Gilbert led me to the edge of the school’s football field, surprisingly not many people already occupying it. He sat down on the grass and patted the spot next to him, indicating for me to sit down as well. I slowly descended, eyes still red and swollen from my tears. 

“No offense Gilbert, but you’re kind of freaking me out,” I said slowly, unsure what else to say. He and I haven’t really sat down and talked before. Just the two of us. 

“Diana…” he started, grabbing my hand into his. I flinched, pushing my hands out of his in shock. What was this boy playing at? Gilbert frowned slightly but placed his hands in his lap as if nothing happened. “Diana I know we aren’t really close but I am concerned about you… and Anne.”

I scowled. Of course. Of course this is about Anne, what else did I think it could be!? I wanted to scream, to shout. To tell Gilbert to stay away from her. But I didn’t. I took a deep breath, and calmed my racing heart. Calmed the green envy swirling inside.

“Anne and I aren’t on speaking terms at the moment, so if you wanted advice to date her you’d need to go to someone else,” I deadpanned. 

Silence. 

I turned my head up and peaked, curious why Gilbert hasn’t said anything, to be greeted by a smirk. I cocked my head to the side, confused. Gilbert was… amused? 

“Diana, oh Diana is that what this has been about? Me?” He chuckled. 

“I thought… you…” A deep blush from embarrassment painted on my cheeks and I bit my lip, a bad habit I picked up whenever I felt trapped. Or embarrassed. 

“I’m not interested in Anne. Sure I found her pretty and I was intrigued to get to know her, but after she bluntly told me it would never happen I got over it.”

Wait… what!?

Gilbert didn’t like Anne. 

Anne didn’t like Gilbert?

Anne told Gilbert she wasn’t interested!

I was about to ask Gilbert when all this happened when I suddenly got hit with a memory. Of… of the party. 

Me being completely and utterly drunk, hitting on Anne! And Anne telling me what Gilbert just said. Some memories were still hazy, but I was hit with a ton of bricks. I was an idiot! The entire fight… the entire time I was the one at fault here. I was so jealous that I snapped, and for no apparent reason. It was all my fault. She probably hated me. 

“Holy shit,” I whispered. Gilbert seemed to have heard me and oddly gave me a smile.

I widened my eyes comically. Barry’s weren’t supposed to swear. Or act anything but proper... and during this entire conversation with Gilbert I've been nothing but proper. Oh, what is he thinking right now! Yet he seemed more entertained out of anything.

“Besides, I started dating someone new.”

I sniffed, laughing openly and fully. This entire situation; my goodness, I was such an _idiot._

“Oh, Gilbert I am so sorry!”

“I noticed the cold shoulder treatment but at least I know why now. Is that why you were crying?”

I only hesitated a moment before deciding to confide in him. 

“Just this whole thing. Anne and I… I miss her.”

“Why don’t you just tell her how you feel? Maybe you’ll become friends again?” I shrugged when he added. “Or something more.”

My head snapped up to meet his gaze, a loud crack sound coming from it but I didn’t care. Gilbert's sentence running in my head over and over.

“What!” I cried.

“Oh Diana you didn’t think we were all blind did you?” he replied exasperated. “You and Anne sure are something.”

 _We_. Who else knew! This was horrible. Does the entire school know? My life was officially over. I took deep breaths, but then a thought plagued me.

“You aren’t going to tell her, are you?” I asked quietly. This time, when Gilbert reached for my hand I let him take it. 

“I would never, but you really should tell her. She feels the same.”

A single tear went down my cheek, and I laughed softly at the absurdity. Anne would never like me. Me and my republican parents who in fact look like they want to spit at her each time they interact. Me who didn’t rival up to her smarts, beauty, kindness. There was no way. Which I repeated to Gilbert. He simply scoffed.

“Don’t sell yourself short! You’re a wonderful, passionate person Diana. Anne would be lucky to have _you_.”

I smiled at his words, but still. My entire life I never really felt good enough. Not a good enough lady, friend… daughter. “How would my parents take it Gilbert?” I blurted out. “For their daughter to be something they hate.”

“You’ll never know until you try, but on your own terms okay? When you are ready.”

I nodded and smiled at the boy. 

“You’re a good friend Gilbert.”

“You deserve to be happy, Diana. Now go get your girl.”

I let out a loud laugh. “We’ll see what happens,” I replied. He wiggled his eyebrows at me, and I laughed again. We spent the entire lunch just talking with one another, feeling a weight being lifted off of my shoulders once we parted. 

*****

“Anne!” I called out. 

_You could do this Diana. It’s fine. You’ll be fine._

Yet how was I going to convince Anne that I was sorry for what I said without the entire truth? Anne kept walking towards the street, and I wasn’t sure if she was ignoring me or just didn’t hear.

“Anne!” I cried again, louder this time. This time, the girl did turn around and her eyes went wide in surprise when she saw me motioning her forwards. For a moment I thought she was going to keep walking away, pretend nothing happened. 

“Please Anne,” I whispered to myself. 

I almost shouted in glee when I saw her slowly start to make her way over to me. I tried to compose myself before she got here, preparing what I was going to say in my head. I was more nervous than I thought I’d be.

“Hey, Anne…” I said warily. 

“I’m not going to bite your head off, relax Diana,” she replied. I held in a smile.

“Can we talk?”

“You’ve had weeks for that.” I gulped. I visually saw my plan evaporating, once I was standing in front of the girl.

“I know and I’m so incredibly sorry but _please._ I just want to explain myself.”

“We’re talking right now.”

I glared. “Now you’re just being difficult.”

“So if you just want to insult me, I think I’ll be on my way.”

She turned to go and I quickly grabbed her arm, trying to keep her in place. For some reason, Anne didn’t break out of my hold and even turned around to face me again. 

“Haven’t you done enough?” she replied brokenly. Her voice held a little wobble and she looked close to tears. I quickly released my hold on her, shook to my core. I didn’t mean to make her cry! I just made it so much worse. I knew this was a bad idea. Yet it was too late to turn back now, and even if I did it would be on even _worse_ terms (and she can’t handle another day without her).

“Anne… I really want to explain myself to you. We can talk somewhere private and afterward we… we never have to talk to each other again.”

“Don’t you see!” she cried, throwing her hands in the air. “I don’t fucking want to stop talking to you, Diana. It’s so far from what I want.”

“Then please, let’s work this out.”

“Work what out? The fact you never liked me? Never wanted to be my friend? What more do you have to say to me after that!?”

I was about to reply when I noticed the stares. A few people were standing around, listening in to our fig- conversation. If only I could get Anne to someplace people didn’t have to stare at us like we’re in the godforsaken zoo! News does travel fast in this town after all.

“Anne I will explain everything I swear, but please can we go somewhere private?” I begged. 

Anne turned around as if she just noticed we were still at school where multiple people were trying not to look like they were watching. She sighed, but after a few tense seconds, she nodded.

*****

The walk was quiet, and when we finally reached Green Gables (no way was I having this conversation at my house where my mother or Minnie May could hear) I let out an internal sigh of relief. Anne led me to the barn, and I tried not to let the shock show on my face. I didn’t think she would want to come back here. 

“Jerry’s probably home,” was her explanation.

I guess my face wasn’t as neutral as I thought. Then again, I’ve always been bad at masking my feelings. Heck, even Gilbert noticed my crush on Anne. That oblivious boy… I tried not to think about who else might know. It would probably just drive me mad.

Anne sat down on one of the haystacks, and I just sat on the ground. The girl raised a single eyebrow at me. It wasn’t like me to get dirty, but today a filthy dress was the least of my concerns. 

“So…” she trailed off after realizing I wouldn’t be the one to start the conversation. “I’m listening.”

Which is more than I deserve. 

“Uh… I…” My words got stuck in my throat. All the apologies, the explanation… I just suddenly couldn’t form any sentences. My mind was blank. Anne was staring at me, waiting and the longer I stayed silent the more agitated I could see her become. 

“Do you have anything to say? Anything at all!” Anne cried. 

“I’m sorry Anne,” I replied thickly. My mouth felt dry, my palms sweaty. 

“I’m sorry? I don’t care if you’re sorry, I care that you said it and it _hurt_. It hurt so much to hear you say you never wanted me as your friend.”

“It was in the heat of the moment! I didn’t mean it, I was just so angry. At you, myself, and-”

“Gilbert,” she deadpanned. “I don’t understand your obsession with that boy. He’s done nothing to you, or me for that matter.”

Anne didn’t really sound mad, mostly confused. Like this whole ordeal didn’t make sense to her.

“I know that now, I talked to him today. He cleared many things up.”

“Like what?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. It made her look like a cute little puppy. I bit back a smile.

 _Like the fact I am head over heels for you and he, in fact, wasn’t._ “Just… stuff. It isn’t really important.”

“So now you don’t even want to tell me?” She paused. “Diana, you confuse me.”

“I don’t mean to…” I said kind of pathetically might I add. “I’m just not good at dealing with…”

“Me?”

“Feelings,” I contradicted. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me, Anne. You must believe that.”

“I want to Diana, I really do.”

“And I am so ridiculously, thoroughly, wholeheartedly sorry for saying what I did. I know sorry doesn’t excuse anything but I just… I fucking miss you, Anne. I always wanted to be your friend and I was so mad. Thinking you were replacing me with Gilbert, thinking you liked Gilbert. It was selfish and wrong to accuse you despite you saying there was nothing going on. I just got jealous and that clouded my judgment. I don’t blame you if you hated me.”

A took a deep breath after saying all that in one go. I didn’t even know what was going to come out of my mouth the moment it opened, and I wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to say. I looked over at Anne, her eyes glued to the ground. As if she was trying to collect her thoughts. 

“I don’t hate you, Diana,” she said softly after a moment. “I never really did and I probably wouldn’t even be able to.”

“Then, forgive me? Please?” I was practically begging at this point.

Anne rolled her eyes and gave a wide smile. “Of course you idiot.”

A huge weight immediately lifted off of my shoulders as I jumped up in glee, throwing myself onto the beauty. Anne let out a small cry in surprise but wasted no time in wrapping her arms around my waist, holding me in place. I was practically on her lap at this point, but I couldn’t care. Heck, I wish I could always sit on her lap. Hold her. 

_Tell her,_ a small part of my brain was telling me, sounding a whole lot like Gilbert. I pulled back from the hug and was met with blue eyes staring back at me, dancing around my face. As if she was trying to remember everything that was happening. That happened.

“I have something else to confess to you Anne,” I said slowly. My heart felt like it was hammering through my stomach. I wanted to tell her, but at the same time, I was afraid. I couldn’t even spend a week and half without Anne, if she rejected me how was I to spend an entire lifetime without her!

“Yes?” she asked, head cocked to the side once more. I didn’t bite back my smile this time. “Why are you smiling?” she added, noticing my grin. It grew even wider when I caught a trace of a smile itching its way out of Anne as well. 

“Because I’m happy, Anne.”

She only paused before replying. “So am I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated twice in one week, who am I?
> 
> Also yay! They're friends again. Conflict has dispersed. 
> 
> And booo. Diana missed her opportunity to tell Anne how she feels. Rejection is scary folks.
> 
> Also I love writing in Diana's POV lol


	12. Of Stars in the Sky and Shinning Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bleg I hate what I named this chapter. But.. like.. it's what they talked about.. soo... yeah. Lol.
> 
> **ALSO**  
>  This chapter deals with what some would consider heavy stuff (Anne's depression - basically why she isn't happy) and even slightly mentions how Anne feels about herself. You could skip to the end if you like (but make sure to read the end!!! Shit happens).

**Anne's POV**

“Anne, I have a question.”

I rolled my eyes, forgetting the fact that they were closed and the other girl wouldn’t be able to see. 

“Diana you don’t have to say you have a question. Just ask it,” I replied fondly. Diana chuckled, yet did as she was told. It must be a really uncomfortable question if she was going all shy about it. I parked up a bit, eyes still closed enjoying the sounds of nature.

“Why did you go into the Gillis house as it was on fire?” she asked quietly. 

I didn’t expect that. My eyes shot open in shock and I turned my head to face Diana.

We were sitting on the grass at the Barry’s backyard, both just enjoying the outdoors. Diana was doing homework, and I was imagining I was princess Cordelia. Ever since Diana and I made up 3 days ago, we’ve been inseparable. We walk to school together, eat lunch side by side. Of course Ruby and I have been hanging out every night at home. Ever since the fire, well, Ruby and I have gotten quite close. She's a riot that one.

We both stayed clear from mentioning anything that happened while we weren't speaking, so her question shocked me. I've answered it multiple times, after all.

“The doors were open, and so the fire would’ve spread. I went in to close them,” I replied slowly. It’s the story I’ve been telling everyone, and I knew Diana heard it too. So why was she asking? I saved Ruby’s home for goodness sake!

“Yes, I know that but _why_?” 

“I’m sorry I don’t understand, Diana. What are you asking?” I replied, slightly confused. Didn't I just answer her? 

“Anne don’t you understand you could have _died_! And for what, a pile of bricks!” Diana threw her hands in the air in frustration, yet she sounded mostly confused. 

“I- I just wanted to do something to help. I didn’t like standing around, doing nothing,” I defended. I never really thought of why I did it. Usually, when I got an idea I just acted on it.

“You could’ve told someone, Anne. And you could have gone in _with them_ and then it would have been safer! What made you just run into a fucking burning house without knowing for sure how you’d get out, if you’d be safe, how to alert someone if something happened. For pete’s sake, Anne don’t you hear me! You. Could. Have. Died. Don’t you even realize that!”

Diana’s voice started getting louder with each statement she made as if she’s been holding it all inside and was waiting for it to burst. I recoiled in shock at her tone and at the tears that were threatening to fall down her face. 

“I know…” I said roughly, my throat closing up. “But the house-”

“You cares about a godforsaken **house**! Your life matters more, _you_ matter more. Even if you didn’t go in the fire would have stopped. Sure, the Gillis’ may have lost more items but that’s all they are, items! You are a person. A living, breathing person who will grow up and have a job and a family and you just went into that fire like you _didn’t fucking care_.”

“So what if I don’t!” I screamed right back. It was Diana’s turn to recoil, her head snapping back and her eyes blown wide. “My life is shit, Diana. Not one decent thing has ever happened to me. My parents died, I was sent to that godforsaken orphanage where I was bullied 24/7, I was placed in horrible foster homes where I was treated like their freaking maid! I have been beaten and worn down all my life. So what if something happened? My life doesn’t fucking matter anymore. I don’t matter. The universe would’ve probably fucking cheered if something happened.”

Diana froze, mouth gaping open. Her tears were flowing down in waves. With a stat, I realized I was crying just as heavily. 

I didn't mean to let that all out. I closed my eyes tightly, wishing I was in some sort of dream.

“Anne… I-”

“I’m rarely happy, you know?” Once I started, I just couldn’t stop. I was trying to tell my mouth to shut _up_. But it didn't.  
“Like, never. Nothing good has ever happened to me to make me feel happy like any normal person. Years of PTSD, check. Suffered from abuse, check. Sometimes gets hit with depression, check fucking check. I’ve only felt happy in this town like what, 3, 4 times? And surprisingly, that’s a record for me. So yeah, I ran into that stupid fire to save a stupid house because it belonged to a functioning family that would have been devastated. And I didn’t think about my shitty life for one damn second because I simply don’t **care** enough anymore. That a good enough explanation for you?”

I didn’t realize that I was sitting up from my position on the ground, hands shaking as tears flew down my face like a waterfall. I didn’t mean to say all that. It’s just, no one really asks. And Diana was staring at me with a furrow in her brow and an adorable confused look in her eye. It just came out. 

I couldn’t bare to look at her, fearing her reaction. We only just made up, what if I ruined everything by telling her? It would’ve been fine, she could've stayed blissfully unaware and I could’ve just painfully kept it inside. 

Stupid stupid stupid. 

To say I was shocked when I felt cold hands caress my cheeks was an understatement. Somehow I managed not to flinch. I opened my eyes slowly and my breath caught when I saw how close Diana was standing, a few inches away from my face. I could see every blemish on her face, her lips were _so close_. 

_Now is not the time, Anne_.

She didn’t seem fazed, her only goal to wipe away the tears away from my cheeks. I tried to move my mouth to speak, but words didn’t come out.

She wasn’t running.

She heard all of my shit, every single thing.

And here she was, wiping away my fucking tears.

“Anne, did you really think I was going to walk away?” she said softly.

Did I say that out loud? I didn’t think I did. Yet I was pretty focused on not letting my gaze trail lower to Diana’s lips. I was trying really, really hard. 

“You aren’t horrified?” I whispered. She probably wouldn’t have heard me if we weren’t so close. 

“Of course not," she scoffed. As if the mere thought was horrendous. "Just because you’ve had to face so many hardships and that life has been pretty unfair to you doesn’t mean I hate you.”

She was taking this ridiculously well. I squinted my eyes in suspicion. “Did you already know?”

“Oh Anne.” Another caress. I held in a shiver. There weren’t even tears on my cheeks anymore. “I kind of already suspected. You came from an orphanage. You get easily provoked. Your eyes never shone. I didn’t know all of it, sure. But I’m your best friend, you really think I’d never notice?”

I tried to keep back another batch of tears. “What do you mean my eyes never shone?” I asked stubbornly. “I didn’t think they were bad.” I was always quite happy with my eyes. Sure, they go horridly with my hair but on their own… Did Diana think my eyes were ugly? As if sensing what I was feeling Diana smiled in amusement.

“Your eyes are gorgeous. But they never really shined. Like, when Ruby is talking about Jerry her eyes glisten and shine in excitement and happiness. Everyone knows that look in your eye when you're happy, and yet I never saw it on you.”

Oh. I suppose that made sense. Diana must really have been paying attention. No one has ever mentioned my _eyes_ before. A warm bubbly feeling fluttered inside of me and I tried to fight back a blush. This was not a time for my stupid hormones, I repeated to myself for the billionth time.

“Do you…” Diana seemed to struggle with that to say. “Do you not want to live?”

My eyes widened comically, yet I could understand why she thought that. “Of course I do! I don’t want to die, trust me, Diana. It’s just sometimes I…” I trailed off.

What was I going to say? I sighed (a little dramatically) and laid back down on the grass. Diana laid down with me, head facing the clouds as if she knew I couldn’t handle her gaze on me if I was to tell her. Get her to understand. 

“I like to imagine how the stars see us,” I started, eyes still closed. “When we see them shining, illuminating the dark sky. Scattered like little balls of light in the blackness of night. The dark should swallow them, but still, they shine. But when the stars look down at us all they see are our miserable, dark little lives that don’t illuminate even the smallest sparkle of light. Because we don’t shine. We don’t shine like them.”

Diana stayed quiet, probably trying to decipher the meaning of those words.

“But we shine in different ways,” she replied. As if sensing my confusion, she elaborated. “Think of it this way, the stars have their own jobs in the universe. So do we. Just because we’re different, doesn’t mean we’re worthless in the grand scope of things. Plus, how could you compare us to _stars_? Come on, that’s just unfair.”

I let out a little laugh at that, and from Diana’s wide smile I could tell that was her intention all along. 

“Maybe the stars think of us as people who could live these amazing lives, and like, socialize with each other. Maybe because they have to stay isolated, lightyears away from each other, unlike us. We live right next door.”

“I suppose. I just wish I could be a star sometimes, you know.”

“Don’t we all.” 

We both just laid there, quietly enjoying the sounds of nature that surrounded us. Diana’s words were echoing in my head, wrapping around me like a blanket. She was too pure for this world. I couldn’t stop grinning like a lunatic, hoping Diana’s eyes were still closed so she didn’t have to see the small flush of my cheeks that seemed like they were not going away any time soon. I turned my head to look at Diana, my eyes widening and flush deepening when I saw her gaze already locked on mine. She didn't even flinch when I caught her.

I wanted to duck, close my eyes again. But she drew me in. I couldn’t take my gaze away from hers. Not when she was looking at me like _that_. 

“You’re my star, Anne,” she whispered, breaking the eerie silence. 

My heart rate increased, a sharp inhale released from my mouth. From the way Diana was staring at me, I couldn’t help but think she didn’t mean that in a totally platonic way. But Diana was straight, right? Sure, she’s never said the words but… 

… but she could never be interested in me! It just, the pretty popular girl is never interested in the homely, messed-up-in-the-head girl. Right? Before I could chicken out or find a million reasons to doubt myself, I opened my mouth and found myself saying,

“You’re mine too.”

Diana leaned in, and kissed me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EAAKKKKKKKKK OMG right? I didn't think I would add this part so soon but I also feel like 12 chapters is quite long so... yeah.
> 
> Also, my bad for not updating this fic in so long! It's been on the back of my mind but I keep forgetting, and when I remember it's when I'm so busy I could only add a few sentences. I won't lie and say I'll try to post more soon. Cause I won't. And I will not give you false hope.
> 
> [Not me lying saying I would write more during winter break and wrote 2 chapters... oop-]
> 
> ... what do you think is going to happen next?


	13. I Just Want To Be Me, Is That Really So Bad?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning, some mention of homophobia.
> 
> I think you guys know what's going down in this chapter.

**Anne’s POV**

I didn’t really have time to savor it before it ended. To really acknowledge that, holy shit Diana, girl I’ve been crushing on since the moment we met, just kissed me. 

Diana kissed _me_

ME.

I doubt it could even be called a kiss, her lips just graced mine before we both heard a gasp, then a loud bang. 

Diana pulled away from me in shock, yet I was too dumbstruck to acknowledge what the sound was. To realize the severity of the situation. Because Diana just freaking kissed me! I brought my fingers to my lips, contemplating if this was just one of my many daydreams. But it wasn’t. It was real. I was about to smile, shout out how much that meant to me, ask Diana what she meant by it. 

And then I opened my eyes and saw the scene before me. 

I gulped. 

**Diana’s pov**

Oh no.

Fuck. 

My mom was in the driveway, Minnie May in tow.

I didn’t hear the car drive-in, too focused on Anne. For once in my life I didn’t doubt myself, I didn’t chicken out from doing something I desperately wanted to, damning the consequences. Ignoring the voice in my head, telling me all the reasons why I shouldn’t.

And now I think I'm hyperventilating. 

“Diana!” Mother screeched in horror. I tried not to flinch. 

Hands shaking, I unsteadily stood up. I barely realized that Anne stood up alongside me, yet leaving hastily after my mother said something to her. I was too busy frozen in shock. 

Of what mother and father might do. 

I tightened my eyes closed and prayed I was in some kind of dream. 

****

“How could you?!” My father bellowed. 

It wasn’t a dream. Mother called father right away, crying into the phone about how their daughter has wandered into “the dark side”. I tried to tune out her sobs from my room, even plugging my ears shut. I just kept hearing her screaming. 

And now father was home. 

“It is not your future you’re ruining, it’s _ours!_ ” Father cried bitterly, anger laced into his voice.

“Deceitful child!” My mother sobbed. She took out a handkerchief from her purse and blew her nose. She was being way too dramatic, I knew, but for some reason I started to feel shame swirling inside of me. “How could you do this to us!”

“I… I just-” I stuttered. I didn’t know how to reply. What to say in this situation.

Father was looking at me in disgust, in resentment. Mother just looked heartbroken, like everything she worked for is ruined. I kept my tears in check, they didn’t deserve it. But my heart couldn’t help but let in a few cracks.

“You kissed that retched orphan! What were you thinking!” Father added.

“Has she bewitched you? Convinced you somehow?!” Mother cried. “That fowl girl, she has poisoned you into her way of life. It is wrong! She is wrong!”

“Don’t talk about Anne like that,” I snapped. 

My parents recoiled at my tone, shocked that I talked back to them. I couldn’t let them say these things about Anne. Anne… who I kissed. Who is probably so confused and disgusted. She only ever wanted to be friends and then I went and _kissed_ her! It has only been two days since we made up. What… What have I done?

My mind stopped spiraling when I felt a pain in my arm, and I looked up to see my mother gripping me sternly. The look in her eyes… I would never forget that look. 

Pure disgust. Pure rage. 

“As long as you are my daughter, and live under this roof you will never see that Anne again,” she snarled. 

“But-”

“No _buts._ That girl is bad for you and for us.”

“How? Because she is free to be herself in this town. Love whoever she so wills? If that is your definition of wrong, _mother_ , then it is you who are the disappointment.”

I didn’t expect the slap- in hindsight, I probably should have. I never spoke back to my parents before, and for some reason, I couldn’t stop talking. My fears of upsetting them, making them angry, have already happened. I had nothing else to lose; their respect for me already gone since I leaned in and felt those soft, delicate lips upon mine.

My cheek burned from the impact, but I forced myself not to cry. Not to show any kind of weakness as I turned my head and faced her once more, eyes blazing with anger, sadness, and hurt. At the end of the day she was still my mother, the woman I should look up to and aspire to be. I was sad that I realized, at that exact moment where were both staring at each other in resentment, I never wanted anything to do with my mom ever again.

The woman had the audacity to look somewhat shocked by her actions, releasing my arm from her grasp. I held in a scoff. And a sob. My hands started shaking, so I hid them behind my back. No weakness.

“Go to your room,” she commanded, emotionless. “We will speak more of this in the morning.”

I opened my mouth to say something back, but my confidence dispersed. I just wanted to go into my room and call Anne. So I turned my back on the people who are supposed to love me, who are supposed to care for me and let me be me. I turned my back and stomped up the stairs, locking the door to my room. 

I sat down on my bed and finally allowed myself to let go of all my emotions and cry.

I didn’t call Anne.

My own parents didn’t love me; heck, like me. 

Why would she?

I stared down at my shaking hands, tears sliding down my face and falling onto the palms. If my own parents could accept who I am, who I _wanted to be,_ how could I expect anyone else to?

******

When the light shone into my room, announcing a new day, I was already awake. I hadn’t slept at all last night, reliving everything about that day.

Anne telling me about her past.

Anne looking so ethereal, the sun highlighting her features. Her braids covered with specks of grass.

Anne and I kissing.

Mother and Minnie May watching.

Mother and father’s words. 

The slap.

It was as if my brain wanted to me suffer more than I already have. Wanted to remember every little detail so it could drive me absolutely mad.

The one thing I couldn’t remember is Anne’s expression after the kiss. Another thing that was causing me to pull my hair out.

Just as the scene where mother saw the kiss played in my head, I heard a knock on the door. I ignored it at first, thinking it was just the front door. But then they knocked again. It was my door.

It couldn’t have been one of my parents. They didn’t even come up to tell me dinner was ready last night. And even if it was one of them, I wasn’t up for another lecture on how I’ve ruined everything by kissing one girl. 

“Go away,” I whispered hoarsely, throat scratchy from the floods of tears I let out for hours.

Instead, the door opened to reveal Minnie May standing on the other side, holding a stuffed bunny. One look at me and tears started swelling in her eyes. She let herself in and closed the door, walking up and sitting across from me on my bed. In normal circumstances, I would have yelled at her to get out. ‘Quit being so nosy’.

Now I was just hoping she didn’t want to leave me. We sat in silence for a few moments before Minnie May started talking.

“I’m sorry,” she said. I didn’t even turn to look at her, I didn’t want to see her expression. And I didn’t want her to see mine. To see how broken I really was. 

“You didn’t do anything, Minnie May,” I sighed. What did my sister want from me? 

“I saw you and your friend kiss and I gasped. I brought mother’s attention to you,” she sniffed sadly. 

I snuck a look at her from my peripheral vision. She looked crestfallen.

“This is not your fault in any way Minnie May.”

“It is though! You don’t even like your life, you don’t like being you!” She was crying now, and I turned to give my full attention to my younger sibling. I felt tears start to swell up in my own eyes again, wondering how I haven’t cried them all out yet. “Whenever you were with Anne I could see it in your eyes, you liked being you. And now I ruined that and you are miserable!” she sobbed.

I gave my sister a soft smile through my tears which have now begun to fall freely once more. “Oh, Minnie May…” It was my turn to sob. “Mother would have seen either way. You didn’t do a single thing. I promise.”

“You promise?”

I knew how much of a big deal those were to her. “Of course. You being here with me, it is everything I could have hoped. At least one person doesn’t hate me for me,” I tried to let out a chuckle to lighten up the situation, but it sounded too forced. Even Minnie May realized that.

“Mother and father will,” she said stubbornly. “They love you. They have to.

“They won’t.”

“But-”

“We both know it, Minnie May. We both know they won’t.” _And probably never will_ I thought bitterly. 

“There was a boy in my class named Jack. He said he loved his best friend,” Minnie May said after another moment of silence was shared. “Loved him loved him. And this one girl said it was gross.” 

She paused, and I would have thought it was for dramatic effect if she wasn’t six and probably didn't even know what that meant. Wise beyond her years, that sister of mine. She looked over at me as if checking I was really listening. When satisfied, she continued. 

“Miss Ames said that it wasn’t gross, but sweet. She told us Jack could love whoever he wanted.”

I smiled. Miss Ames sounded like a great teacher. I was about to talk, but Minnie May wasn’t done.

“Diana,” she said sternly. I cocked my head to the side. “You could love whoever you want.”

I didn't even hesitate before I wrapped my arms around my baby sister and held her close. I smiled, a _real_ smile, into her hair. She tried to wrap her frail arms around me too, but couldn’t reach all the way. I let out a small giggle at her attempts.

“Thank you,” I said into her hair. 

I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that. To hear someone say that it was right. That being with Anne- no, _loving_ Anne, was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This, I'm not going to lie, was kind of hard for me to write. 
> 
> I really want to give Diana a hug right now, despite me writing this, the chapter made me tear up a bit ngl. Diana deserved the world
> 
> Also, fuck her parents.


	14. I'm Sorry [announcement]

I'm not going to be continuing this story anymore due to personal matters. I'm SO sorry, I had so many ideas on how to end it but I guess it's for you guys' imagination now. Who knows, maybe one day I'll be able to finish. I'll still write fics, just mostly one-shots now. I really wish I could continue Anne and Diana's story, but alas. I cannot.

Thank you so so so so much to everyone who read, commented, and left kudos to this fic! Each one put such a big smile on my face. I'm immensely grateful and considering this is my first story I didn't think many people would enjoy it.

I love all of you! Thanks for sticking with my lazy editing, weird grammar, and horrible posting schedule. 

Chao!


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